Work Text:
Unsuitable
This story was prompted by God of Wolves awful Christmas Suit. I hope I described it well enough.
The day the world as Ms. Bustier’s class knew it ended, everything started off with a confusing text from Adrien to Nino. It simply stated “I’m going on strike.” Nino scratch ed his head, wondering what exactly that meant, but decided to keep his priorities straight. He had to reassure his girlfriend that her Holiday Santa Plays Cupid Plan was still a Go.
He texted his best bro back: “You’re still coming to the party though, right?” Marinette had organized an incredible Holiday Party styled from the American Romantic Comedy movies. She’d even gotten Chloe and everyone else from class involved in setting up and pulling off this event. Nino himself had b een organizing the best holiday- themed yet not overplayed or overly trite music for weeks. If Adrien backed out and ruined the efforts that nearly every student in their class had contributed to, he’d be a dead man and he wouldn’ t even be able to explain why.
To Nino’s relief and future livelihood, Adrien’s text back was affirmative. “Oh, I’ll be there. With bells and lights, in fact.” Nino briefly wondered at the things Adrien was bringing before deciding someone must have asked him to bring those for decoration. He then confirmed the Plan was a go with Alya before putting it out of his mind. He needed to reorganize the three possible music playlists one last time before the party started, and then go set up.
Nino would live to regret that. So would everyone else.
*****
The Hotel Ballroom Chloe’s father granted them use of was huge. It would have to be to fit their entire grade, but still, the fact that Nino would be performing on such a large stage left him gulping with nerves. Checking to make sure he was in the right place, he started sweating. He’d known Chloe had been getting better about becoming a good, dependable person, but this was still amazing. He briefly wondered if Marinette had blackmail on Chloe or something.
Deciding he’d had enough scary thoughts, he busied himself setting up his station and testing out the speakers. He had just enough time to go to each speaker and be sure it was putting out enough volume to satisfy him before the first guests started showing up. Everyone wore suits and gowns, and they looked amazing.
It may not compare to an American prom, perhaps, but Marinette had outdone herself with making the dress code clear, and setting up everything to be beautiful yet elegant . Speaking of the organizer, he watched as Marinette checked and double-checked the refreshment tables as he started off with some easy tunes no one would likely want to dance to. Marinette had ordered seasonal treats from all over the world to cater to the whole school and really make this a cultural experience. Or at least that was her reasoning to the school board, and the teachers looked suitably impressed by the spread.
Marinette smoothed her dress nervously as she glanced around, and Nino gave her a once over. She was wearing an adorable deep red dress decorated with real holly and the dress gathered under her bust to emphasize her slender body type. Nino thought she had called it an Empire waist dress, but he wasn’t sure. All he knew was that if Adrien’s eyes didn’t pop out of his head at seeing Marinette in a beautiful dress with her hair down and curled, Nino was gonna doubt his sexual orientation. Every guy that came in gave Marinette a once over, and most gave her more than one. He’d already seen more than one couple arguing, but to his amusement, Marinette remained entirely blind to it.
“Nino, how’s it going? Do you need anything?” Nino smiled at Marinette and checked his phone. He knew she was really asking if Adrien was still coming. Adrien’s last text said he was five minutes away, and that was sent about 4 minutes ago. Marinette waited patiently as Nino put his phone away.
“I’m good Maribun . Adrien should be here any minute. You ready?” Marinette gave a nervous smile and Nino took a moment to appreciate how well the girls had done he r make- up. You could hardly see any of her cute freckles, but the smooth skin really gave her a “flawless beauty” feeling. Her blue eyes stood out with the help of some eye liner and maybe mascara. Nino couldn’t be sure, as Marinette already had such thick eyelashes. The real eye catcher was her lipstick though.
Nino remembered the frustrated texts he’d gotten for weeks from Alya as they’d searched together for a lipstick that perfectly matched the dress’s color and the holly berries she would be wearing. It had quite literally taken them weeks to find one Marinette was satisfied with, but it was worth it. Her lips stood out in an incredible ‘kiss me’ way. Combined with the milky skin, she looked like an ethereal beauty.
“I hope so! I feel really confident that something is going to happen tonight Nino. I can just *feel* it!” Marinette put emphasis on the ‘feel’ enough that Nino couldn’t help chuckling at her. Marinette giggled with him until they both heard the code word being hissed nearby. Adrien had arrived.
Together they turned around, and the world came to a stop for Marinette. Nino froze as well, and then glanced nervously at Marinette. He was not by any means fashionable, but he knew how absolutely driven Marinette was, and he put in just enough effort tonight to keep from being decimated by her. His bro, however, had not.
“What. Is. That.” Marinette hissed, her face blank. Nino was honestly impressed she hadn’t already started screaming. Adrien was talking animatedly to Alya , who was looking nervously between Adrien and Marinette. To his credit, Adrien looked happy and excited to be here, and when Alya dutifully began to lead him towards Marinet te, he followed willingly.
Once Adrien caught sight of Marinette, he literally stopped and stared at her, drinking in the sight, just as she stood staring back. With an open mouth, obviously impressed and a little in awe, Adrien took over Alya in his hurry to greet his friend. “Marinette! You’re absolutely stunning!” He greeted. Adrien took her hands in his and kissed the tops gently as he stared at her dress. “The dress is beautiful and you wear it so well! Did you make it?”
Marinette forced a smile. “You’re rather stunning as well. I’m speechless. Yes. I made this.” With a robotic tone, the w ords finally appeared to fail her and she resumed staring. Adrien noticed her eyes trailing over the lines of his suit, and the design. Adrien released her ha nds to proudly show off . Marinette’s hands remained posed in the air as though desperate to clutch something.
It was green with a leaf pattern, almost like a pine tree. There were fuzzy golden lines going all around it like a garland, and balls of various colors. Nino realized abruptly that the balls were ornaments, and as Adrien beamed, he flicked a switch and the jacket lit up. He was wearing a Christmas Tree Suit. In front of an aspiring fashion designer. Nino abruptly wondered if Mr. Agreste was alright.
Marinette choked. Nino gave the agreed SOS signal, and Alya quickly came up with an excuse to lead Marinette away. “Oh, girl, we’re running out of the tree cookies! Let’s go see if we have extras, okay?” As Marinette coughed and mumbled with a dark expression, Alya dragged her away. Adri en watched them go, disappointed at the lack of comment on his cool suit, and concerned that Marinette started choking so suddenly. He turned back to Nino.
“Do you think my suit was too cool for her? I mean, I thought my Father would have a heart attack when he saw me, but he didn’t say anything when I left, so I was a little disappointed. How’s this for going on strike?” Adrien beamed at Nino, and Nino just blinked, completely lost. Adrien seemed to think he wanted to get a better view of his outfit, and he did a model spin and pose before winking at him.
“Dude. Did you… is this what you meant when you said you were going on strike?” Nino felt a dawning horror. Adrien looked so proud of himself. Did Adrien not realize he’d narrowly avoided being stripped or burned? When Marinette was offended, all bets were off. Even Chloe had never deliberately worn something unfashionable, and she’d done a lot of crazy shit to get Marinette’s attention over the years.
“Yeah! Father was insisting I wear this boring dark green suit that was ‘ perfectly tailored ’ to the party.” Adrien rolled his eyes as though it was a terrible idea. Nino silently switched to his back up track and got the crowd dancing so they would stop staring at his bro as he listened to this disaster. “The fun of a party with kids our age is that I can wear something that isn’t ‘perfect’ you know? So I’m on strike! I’ll wear anything I want, until Father stops trying to control my life!”
Adrien looked so proud that Nino just rested a hand on his shoulder. “Bro.” Nino took in a deep breath and ignored his survival instincts. “I’m so proud of you bro. You wear what you wanna wear. It looks great, dude!” As Ni no gave a sickly grin at Adrien’s happy smile, he felt a chill. He glanced to the side against his express wishes, as though witchcraft forced his eyes. Marinette was glaring daggers at him, so strongly it felt like a dagger was pressed to his throat.
Nino didn’t know how, but he was certain in that moment that Marinette heard him encourage the fashion disaster in front of him. He was on the other side of the room, but he noticed several steel cans were sitting mangled on the table next to her. Chloe and Sabrina were frantically trying to wrestle the lighter from her other hand without her even looking at them, Marinette’s eyes locked on Adrien’s form. He gulped and looked for salvation from Alya .
Alya was sitting a few feet away from Marinette at a table , openly sobbing. Nino blanched. He had never seen an utterly broken Alya before, and he marveled at how it had happened after less than five minutes with a vicious Marinette. As Adrien turned to look at what caught Nino’s attention, he panicked. What was Adrien going to think of Marinette glaring at him like that?
“Oh wow. Marinette is really looking at me, Nino. You think she’d wanna dance with me?” Nino felt cold chills creep up his spine, but he needed to help Alya , and Marinette was gonna escape eventually anyway. Besides, if any of the girls ever learned that he’d told Adrien NOT to ask Marinette for a dance, his life would be over.
“Yeah buddy. I’m sure she’d love to dance with you. I need to make sure Alya’s okay, so why don’t you head on over? Maybe you can get her under some mistletoe, ey ?” Nino winked and Adrien laughed nervously. As Adrien scratched his head in embarrassment but also looked thoughtful, Nino quietly marveled at his lack of survival instinct .
“Oh come on, Nino, we’re just friends. But I don’t know. You think she’d be interested?” Adrien glanced back at Marinette, just after Chloe finally wrestled the lighter from Marinette and yeeted it out of a window. Sabrina sat against the wall behind them, silently rocking back and forth as Marinette took a moment to glare at Chloe. Adrien sighed dreamily. “She looks incredible tonight, Nino.”
Nino chuckled nervously, genuinely fearful of Adrien’s obliviousness. “She sure does, bro. I gotta talk to Alya , but I’ll be praying for you bro!” With possibly his final words to Adrien, he quickly left his station on autoplay and went to console Alya . Nino kept an eye on Adrien as Adrien nervously wandered closer to Marinette before backing out, then gathering his courage and trying again.
In the meantime, Nino wordlessly wrapped Alya in his arms and let her cry. Neither tried to speak. The wrath of Marinette could not be conveyed with words, only experience, as Nino knew well. This was Alya’s first time dealing with a genuinely enraged Marinette, and Nino was just glad she’d survived well enough to still recognize him. He still missed his friends that had forgotten him and everyone else associated with Marinette.
There had once been a blonde boy in their kindergarten who’d made Marinette so mad that by the end of it, he’d had complete memory loss and an incredible change in character. The formerly excitable and enthusiastic boy even changed his taste in clothing to vests and dress pants, perplexing the adults. His parents had moved the family to London to see doctors about the strange changes, and no one had heard from him since. It was a pity, the poor dude had been pretty fun until he started targeting Marinette .
As Alya subsided to quietly crying into his chest, he watched Adrien do the weird approach and retreat a few more times until Marinette broke away from Kim’s stranglehold (that could loosely appear like they were dancing) and met him halfway. Adrien broke into a grin and gestured at the dance floor and Marinette gave him a charming smile as she wrapped her arms around his neck and let him lead. Nino stopped breathing as Marinette started playing with the matching tie Adrien was wearing. Was Marinette finally going to resort to outright murder?
Nino glanced around and made note that everyone who’d been classmates with Marinette for more than three years had moved in, ready to tackle her if she started strangling the poor oblivious boy. To their relief, M arinette said something to Adrien and simply removed his tie. Adrien’s face turned red at whatever she said, but he didn’ t seem upset, so Nino took in a cautious breath. Then he saw Marinette drop the tie behind Adrien. It was mangled and scratched like she’d taken scissors to it.
Frantically he searched her hands, but saw no weapons. Nino stood up, newly wary. He’d thought they’d gotten all of the weapons away from her before he sent his best bro to try to rekindle her interest! He didn’t really think his bro would die! As more people noticed the tie, they stiffened and moved closer. Adrien noticed it was getting harder to dance with so many people close by, but he didn’t realize they were there to protect him.
Alya at this point was only softly sniffling, and she’d finally become aware of her surroundings again. With a gasp of horror, she realized Adrien and Marinette were dancing together. “Oh god Nino. She’s gonna burn him to a crisp ! We gotta get him away from her!” Alya rasped. She wasn’t used to crying in general, let alone the pure fear-filled sobbing she’d been reduced to. Nino patted her soothingly on what he guessed was her shoulder. He never looked away from Adrien to confirm.
“Nah, Babe. Chloe got the lighter. Did she have a knife though? She just shredded his tie, and I can’t see any scissors.” Alya looked for the tie and saw it right as Marinette savagely kicked it away from her, eyes never leaving Adrien’s as she talked to him and made him laugh. Alya moved forward and picked it up, examining it.
“I don’t think so. I think she did this with her bare hands. See? The stitching is literally ripped apart, not cut.” Alya held the tie up to a disbelieving Nino. Nino examined the tie and could only agree, but the strength required to do that could break a man! He frantically double-checked Marinette’s hands and realized with dread that she’d moved her hands under Adrien’s suit jacket.
Nino grabbed Alya and made a parody of dancing as he swiftly moved them in close to Adrien and Marinette. He watched Adrien’s face carefully , noting with fear that Adrien was blushing a fierce shade of red. Adrien looked far too entranced by Marinette to see the danger lurking beneath her be autiful smile, and he obviously couldn’t read the glint in her eyes.
Right before Nino could ‘accidentally’ bump into them and trade partners, he saw Marinette’s eyes light up in victory and the lights on Adrien’s suit died. Adrien didn’t even notice, staring into Marinette’s sparkling eyes. Nino had to admit, with the lights off, the suit wasn’t nearly as awful as it had been. Nino knew though, that Marinette wouldn’t be satisfied until the jacket was ruined beyond repair.
To the crowd’s shock, Marinette leaned up towards Adrien. Adrien, possibly thinking she was going in for a kiss, leaned down to meet her, his eyes fluttering half shut before Marinette spoke. “Adrien, how do you feel about having clothing ripped off of you?” The incredibly inappropriate question was asked so innocently that Adrien blinked at her, not understanding. Nino, understanding all too well what his childhood friend was thinking, tried to interrupt.
“Hey, Marinette! You-” Adrien had obviously not even noticed Nino as he attempted to answer Marinette.
“Do you mean, like, a kink??” Adrien asked, incredibly confused. Marinette wrinkled her nose adorably as she considered her reply.
“Well, not necessarily. But for example, if I ripped this jacket off of you,” Marinette fingered the jacket delicately with one finger , while the other remained buried unseen beneath it. Nino was very nervous about what her hands were doing when he couldn’t see them. It couldn’t end well.
Adrien laughed, obviously thinking Marinette was awkwardly flirting. “Well, I think it’d be impossible for you to rip this jacket. It’s really thick. But if you’re just talking about ripping clothes off of me, I don’t think I’d mind?” Marinette hummed thoughtfully.
“Impossible, huh?” Her blue eyes were lit with a fiery challenge. “ Wanna bet?” Adrien laughed breathlessly, and Nino and Alya just silently observed. At this point, the jacket was going. Adrien was the only one that didn’t know it already. At least it looked like Marinette had decided not to murder the boy in the clothes, just the clothes themselves.
“Sure,” Adrien agreed easily. Nino noted that his friend actually sounded cocky and he mentally shook his head. He’d really liked Adrien too. “What do I win when I’m right?” Marinette chuckled as though he’d said something incredibly funny, and Adrien preened like the idiot he was proving to be.
“Oh, Adrien, you’re hilarious.” Marinette cooed. She leaned closer. “You can have anything you want from me if you’re right. But if I win, you have to give me those …pants… you’re wearing. And I can do anything I want to them.” Nino was impressed. As Adrien gaped at Marinette, very obviously smitten and very naïvely thinking she wanted the pants so she could get to the boy, Alya hummed thoughtfully.
“That would be a very neat way to handle this, actually.” Alya murmured to Nino hoarsely. Nino nodded in agreement, even as he wondered what Adrien would end up wearing if Marinette insisted on the pants immediately after. As though reading his mind, Alya whispered to him. “Marinette actually made a complementary suit in Adrien’s size to match her dress. Chloe already sent a footman to get it from her house and it should be here any minute. We might get through this without bloodshed!”
Adrien finally found his voice, and he nervously smiled. “Anything? Bold words, princess.” He squeaked at the end and grimaced. Marinette’s face twitched minutely but she never looked below his neck, as though afraid she’d lose all sense of reason if she did.
“So? Is it a bet, pretty boy?” Marinette goaded. Nino could tell she was almost at t he end of her rope, and he discreetly glanced around for any adults that might be watching. To his amusement, all of her previous classmates had taken up their standard places as though this formation were required every day and not every few years when some idiot truly messed up. Some of their dance partners seemed confused, but overall everyone was playing along. He got the ‘all clear’ head nod from the lookouts before sighing in relief and turning back to watch the fireworks.
Adrien grinned, suddenly thinking about possibly getting more than just a kiss. “Oh, it’s on, gorgeous.” Marinette smirked. With an incredibly loud ripping sound, the grin dropped off Adrien ’s face as he felt a breeze on his back. As he stared down into Marinette’s eyes, she moved her hands to his shoulders, one hand inside, one hand on the outside, and ripped each sleeve off before letting them fall to the floor and flicki ng the remainder of his suit off of his shoulders like brushing lint off.
“Would you look at that?” Marinette stated casually. “I’ve won.” Adrien gaped. Marinette finally looked at his chest and sighed in relief at the red button down that actually looked appropriate. Then she looked back up and smiled sweetly. Adrien’s face turned the same color as his button down so quickly that he actually swayed. “Now drop trou , Mon Prince.”
Adrien swooned and fell over, but Nino caught him, silently thankful that Marinette hadn’t just ripped the pants off too. “Now Marinette, come on. Let my bro have some dignity, okay?” Marinette glared at Nino as though she were about to stab him through the chest and he instinctively checked her hands for a knife before continuing. “I heard you have a backup suit for him? Lemme take him to change, and you’ll never have to see the pants again.” Nino bargained as Adrien regained consciousness.
********
“What happened?” Adrien groggily said. Then he looked up into Marinette’s predatory eyes and suddenly remembered a very charged conversation. He also absently noted that Plagg was vibrating in his pants pocket. Adrien wasn’t sure when he’d moved out of the jacket, but after Marinette’s demonstration, he was glad Plagg had. Marinette… Adrien watched her with equal amounts lust, awe, and fear. He had never been stripped like that before! If he weren’t in public, he might be having a very different reaction. As he tuned back into the conversation, he heard Marinette harshly demanding something ‘be burned!’
To his surprise, Nino hefted him up and started manhandling him. “We’ll be right back, Maribun ! Don’t worry, we’ll make sure everything is done properly!” Nino promised as he walked away as quickly as he could while dragging Adrien . Adrie n stumbled along , not sure what was going on, but content to let Nino lead him.
“Nino? What’s going on?” Adrien asked. Nino hushed him and herded him to a waiting man that Chloe was frantically pointing to. Nino nodded in thanks and Chloe waved them both off. They silently followed the man to a room where a new suit was laying. Adrien noticed the suit was a perfect match to Marinette’s. With a laugh, he realized Marinette had wanted him to match with her!
Nino shut the door and turned back to Adrien. “Alright bro, you lost the bet. Time to pay up. Pants off, that suit,” Nino tilted his head at the bed. “On, now.” Nino looked paler than Adrien had ever seen him, but with Plagg in his pants, he couldn’t exactly remove them. Adrien scratched his head, playing for time.
“Nino, I can change by myself,” Adrien hinted. To his surprise, Nino firmly shook his head no.
“I am not going to die tonight. So I need to be sure you get changed properly. You’re a model, you’ve never cared about changing in front of me before. So hurry up before Marinette comes and changes you herself, dude.” Nino shuddered in horror. Adrien shuddered with anticipation and nerves. Was that a possibility? Nino noticed the dreamy stare. “No dude. You do not want her to chang e you. Please, dude. Just do it .”
With a frown, Adrien took his pants off, carefully setting them down on the bed and then hurrying into the new clothes before picking up the pants he’d worn before and emptying the pockets. Turned to the side, he noticed with relief that Plagg had rejoined him in the new suit. As he set the pants down and went to look in a mirror, he was impressed.
Marinette had done very well. His suit was the color of holly leaves, with some fake holly berries as his buttons. Very tasteful but still festive and perfectly matching her own outfit. Adrien checked the fit and noticed with surprise and growing confidenc e that it was perfectly fitt ed to him, with a little extra room to actually dance and enjoy himself, unlike his father’s creation. It was almost like she’d made this for him specifically. As he turned back to ask Nino if that was possible, he noticed Nino handing his pants off to the man that escorted them here.
“What are you doing with my pants, Nino?” Adrien frowned and Nino jolted. He turned back, the color in his cheeks already looking better.
“Well, actually. They’re Marinette’s pants now, and I’m sending them to her house so she can do what she wants with it.” Adrien stared open-mouthed. He hadn’t thought Marinette was serious. Nino blinked at him. “But you can keep that suit. Marinette made it just for you, after all.” Then he winced and clapped a hand over his mouth, as though he wasn’t supposed to say that. Adrien flushed in pleasure. This really was couple’s clothes! For him! And Marinette!
“Nino, dude,” Adrien dreamily sighed. Nino groaned and began guiding his oblivious friend back to the party. “Marinette is so amazing. She’s so strong, I bet she could bench me.” Nino was obviously not as enamored of that idea as Adrien was. As though trying to convince Nino of how amazing Marinette was, Adrien continued singing her praises. “Her eyes were so beautiful, bro. She stared right through me. I thought she might choke me with my own tie for a minute and bro.” Adrien stopped and stared seriously into Nino’s eyes , gripping his shoulders with both hands . Nino stopped as well, surprised Adrien had felt that. Maybe he had some self-preservation after all. “Nino. Bro. I’d have thanked her.” Nope. No self-preservation on this blond . Nino resigned himself to possibly losing yet another best friend. Why did he befriend blonds? He should know better by now. He started shuffling them back towards the party.
“ Broooo . When she slipped her hands under my suit jacket,” Adrien stumbled as he remembered, and Nino perked up. He’d been wondering what Mari had been doing. “She kept tracing my spine and shoulders and I didn’t know what to dooooo . Nino, when a girl is feeling you up in public, what do you do?” Nino silently lamented. Adrien was doomed, and Marinette was shameless. This would be the fourth best friend he lost to the machinations of a Marimonster .
They rejoined the party, and it seemed the horror of Adrien’s suit had completely destroyed any nervousness that Marinette used to have when dealing with him. Marinette confidently whisked him away from Nino and he heard relieved sighs from across the entire room. As he returned to his station and gladly resumed DJing , he watched Marinette seduce and tease Adrien, utterly wrecking him .
Nino was just glad Marinette still wanted Adrien after he’d shown his horrible taste in fashion. That was a Christmas Miracle all by itself. A s the couple grew closer, to the point of sneaking kisses and stealing cuddles in the corner, Nino hoped this Miracle was here to stay. He would miss his bro.
OMAKE:
Adrien returned home that night utterly blissed out. When he came in the door, to his shock his father was still standing exactly where he ’d left him more than 5 hours before. “Father!” Adrien exclaimed.
Gabriel jolted and looked over Adrien once more. “Was it a hallucination?” He murmured to himself. He cleared his throat. “Adrien, is that what you wore when you left?” Adrien remembered the bet he’d made earlier in the evening, and how it turned into Marinette becoming his girlfriend. He blushed.
“Ah, no. Marinette destroyed that suit. She made this one for me though. Isn’t it great?” As Adrien bragged, Gabriel sagged in relief. The monstrosity had been destroyed. Gabriel looked over the tasteful suit and though it wasn’t something he would have designed, it had a flair and fashion sense to it that he felt he could stand behind.
“Marinette? Who is that?” The name sounded vaguely familiar to him. But if she’d destroyed that Tree Suit, he wanted to know her. He wanted to shake her hand and possibly offer her a job.
Adrien beamed. “Marinette Dupain -Cheng. She’s my girlfriend! We just started dating tonight!” Adrien laughed as though remembering something cute. “She literally ripped the jacket I was wearing apart, Father! It was so incredible, I just had to ask her to be my girlfriend.” Gabriel’s eyebrows rose.
“She destroyed your clothing with her bare hands?” At Adrien’s happy agreement, Gabriel nodded. “And she designed that suit you’re wearing?” Adrien spun around, almost dancing.
“She sewed it herself too! Just for me!” Adrien released a small, happy giggle. Without hesitation, Gabriel found himself smiling wider than he had in years.
“Excellent job, son. I’ll start drawing up the betrothal contract. We can’t let this one get away! You’re gonna marry that girl!” As Gabriel spun away to start on the paperwork to salvage the future of his son and his company, Adrien gaped silently.
He hadn’t expected that. At all.