Mary Jane West (August 17, 1893 – November 22, 1980) was an American actress and playwright, most commonly known as "Mae" West.

• Goodness had nothing to do with it, dearie.
  • Response to an exclamation, "Goodness! What beautiful diamonds!" in Night After Night (1932). She later used Goodness had nothing to do with it as the title of her (1953) autobiography.

• Why don't you come up sometime and see me? … Come on up, I'll tell your fortune.
  • She Done Him Wrong (1933); this statement has widely said to be misquoted with the paraphrase: "Why don't you come up and see me sometime?" In fact, Mae West did say: "come up and see me sometime.” in these two movies I'm No Angel and Sextette http://quotationize.com/come-up-see-me-sometime-not-misquote-mae-west/

• Oh, Beulah, Peel me a grape.
  • I'm No Angel (1933)

• I only like two kinds of men, domestic and foreign.
  • I'm No Angel (1933)

• When I'm good, I'm very good. But when I'm bad, I'm better.
  • I'm No Angel (1933)

• It's not the men in your life that count, it's the life in your men.
  • I'm No Angel (1933)

• When women go wrong, men go right after them.
  • She Done Him Wrong (1933)

• A man in the house is worth two in the street.
  • Belle of the Nineties (1934)

• When I'm caught between two evils, I generally like to take the one I never tried.
  • Klondike Annie (1936)

• You ought to get out of those wet clothes and into a dry martini.
  • Every Day's a Holiday (1937)

• You take one thing and add it to another and you get two. Two and two is four; and five'll get you ten if you know how to work it!
  • My Little Chickadee (1940)

• I used to be Snow White, but I drifted.
  • Interview in Life magazine (April 18, 1969)

• I'm the kinda girl who works for Paramount by day, and Fox all night
  • Sextette (1978)

• To her British lover about to climb in bed with 80-something Mae: She said that she hoped soon to be able to say what Paul Revere said — 'The British are coming'. This was the last one-liner Mae ever uttered on film.
  • Sextette (1978)

• Is that a gun in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?
  • Sextette^[1][2] (1978)

• When you got the personality, you don't need the nudity.
  • Quoted in "For Women, Monologues They Haven't Heard" by Susan Pomerance, Dramaline Publications (1985)

• Marriage is a fine institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
  • #149 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne

• Give a man a free hand and he'll run it all over you.
  • #684 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne

• I've been in more laps than a napkin.
  • #685 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne

• She's the kind of girl who climbed the ladder of success wrong by wrong.
  • #832 in The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said (2006) by Robert Byrne

• I've always had a weakness for foreign affairs.
  • Person-to-Person interview (CBS) with Charles Collingwood, September 1959