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shameful

Zsuzsu

Senior Member
Hungarian
Hi all,

I am looking for a word (adjective, but maybe a noun) for which I found in my Hungarian-English dictionary "dicey" and "ticklish" but having checked the definitions of these words I think these are not good translations - at least for what I mean.

This is the situation: I was talking about English lessons with a secondary school student and she said that the group is very passive and they don't answer their teacher's questions very willingly. I wanted to ask her: why? Is it ??? to do so? Is this because you don't want to seem eager-beavers in the eyes of the others?

This is my original context but I can imagine others as well: for instance, it is ??? for a lot of children or teenagers to appear somewhere with their parents (to be escorted to see the doctor, for example, or to go to the cinema with them), because the others would think that they are not "cool" and are the little boys/girls of their mothers.
Or if you are 16 and wear something that your grandmother would, it is also ???.
Or speaking about adults, it is ??? to call your girlfriend in (not sure of the preposition, sorry) your ex-girlfriend's name.
Or it is ??? to fall down at the opera in your beautiful dress.
Or it is ??? to tell your colleagues that your boss is an idiot while he is standing behind you...

In Hungarian I would use the same word in all these situations - what would you use in English? This must be a word used mostly in colloquial language, regardless of the age of the speaker - maybe a bit slangish but definitely not bad language.

Thanks in advance!
I would say that most of those situations are embarrassing. If you want to emphasize the opinion of other teenagers, you could say that something is "un-cool" or makes you "seem like a loser".
In all of these examples, the word I would use is "embarrassing". Neither "ticklish" or "dicey" would work.

"ticklish" is used to describe something that needs to be attended to with finesse ie:

A: "Why don't you tell your Mom that she wears too much makeup?"
B: "Well, I'd have to find a really subtle way to tell her. That's a pretty ticklish subject."

"dicey" is a reference to gambling. If something is "dicey", it's likely to be a big gamble ie:

A: "If you don't like the new office policy, why don't you go and tell your boss what you think?"
B: "Oh, that's pretty dicey. He might fire me."
Thank you both!

Is there maybe a bit more slangish word? I would use "embarassing" in an academic context but not what I am looking for.
And I have the feeling that "un-cool" would not fit in my "adult" context. "Something makes you seem like a loser" is better but is there an adjective for this?
Is there maybe a bit more slangish word?

No. 'Embarrassing' is the word I would use whether in formal speech or casual speech. If I wanted to emphasize the peer pressure aspects (instead of my personal feelings in reaction to the event), I would use a teenage-sounding word.
Thanks Dimcl! The meaning of embarassing is OK, but I would like to have a word that is only typical of spoken language.
Hi Franzi!
What would that teenage-sounding word be? I think it will suit my ideas because as I wrote I would not use this word in an Academic context (unlike 'embarassing').
Hi Franzi!
What would that teenage-sounding word be?

lame, uncool, like a loser, geeky, dorky, etc.

I'm not sure exactly what word you want because the emotions you've described above aren't all the same (in my opinion).

Falling down and tearing your clothing would be embarrassing or maybe humiliating.

Answering questions in class is socially unacceptable among (some) teenagers.
Lame is the only one I can think of, though I confess my knowledge of teen-speak is ten years out of date.
Regardless of what Magyar has, I don't think English has a single word for all of the situations you pose. In particular, I don't thing "embarrassing" fits your first example:

I was talking about English lessons with a secondary school student and she said that the group is very passive and they don't answer their teacher's questions very willingly. I wanted to ask her: why? Is it ??? to do so? Is this because you don't want to seem eager-beavers in the eyes of the others?

I'm not sure what the teenspeak word for this would be. The standard English word that comes to mind is that the students are "reticent," or perhaps "apathetic." I'm not sure that there is a standard word if what you are trying to say is that they know the answers but would be scorned by those who don't, but whose opinions they value, if they responded. We have the phrase "peer pressure" to describe this situation, but that's not an adjective. Perhaps you could say that they are "peer-pressured." But I don't think that's a teenspeak word.
Peer pressure has everything to do with being embarrassed. Many students don't participate in class for fear of getting something wrong and being embarrassed.
Peer pressure has everything to do with being embarrassed. Many students don't participate in class for fear of getting something wrong and being embarrassed.

That's often true, but the original post included this: "Is this because you don't want to seem eager-beavers in the eyes of the others?"

Students who don't want to seem like they enjoy learning are afraid of seeming geeky, not of getting the question wrong.
Because both of you have recommended "lame", I suspect this is the one I am looking for! Thank you!
You might be right, Franzi that in English you would not use the same word in all these situations - I suggested this only because in Hungarian we do have one word for all these.
Let's have another situation: What would Bridget Jones say if she fell down before Daniel Cleeves in her new dress which she decided to wear to impress him? (Or if you saw the movie, when she arrived at the tarts and vicars party in her bunny costume because she didn't known that they had changed plans and the party turned out to be a consolidated one...)
I also like "humiliating" but again not slangish at all....
Let's have another situation: What would Bridget Jones say if [she did anything Bridget Jones-y]

"Oh my god, I'm so embarrassed!"

Really, truly, I promise this is what people use in casual conversation. There isn't a slang term that covers this kind of feeling nearly so well as 'embarrassed'.
That's often true, but the original post included this: "Is this because you don't want to seem eager-beavers in the eyes of the others?"

Students who don't want to seem like they enjoy learning are afraid of seeming geeky, not of getting the question wrong.

You've got the point, Franzi!
I thought geeky meant over-zealous, of a student or pupil.

It wouldn't be geeky would it, to go to the cinema with your parents; it's uncool, surely?

But it's not uncool or lame to fall down at the opera in your dress, though it may be uncool to go to the opera at all.

I don't think English has such a word.
Zsuzsu,
I think, with all these contexts, you obviously meant Hungarian "ciki". I know it's the English only forum, but I guess a great many Hungarians would be eager to find an equivalent for this Hungarian word in English. So could you or a moderator here please put a link on the Other languages forum?
This is the situation: I was talking about English lessons with a secondary school student and she said that the group is very passive and they don't answer their teacher's questions very willingly. I wanted to ask her: why? Is it ??? to do so? Is this because you don't want to seem eager-beavers in the eyes of the others?
"Embarrassing" works in all the sentences, but in this one, it seems like you might mean something a bit different. The best word I've come up with is "gauche", although that's definitely not a "slangy" word. Maybe "showing off". "Embarrass" isn't really something that refers to one's actions, but rather the events that one's actions create.
Hi Thomas,

I don't think show off is what I am looking for. Something like uncool would be better, but I realize that English does not have one word for all the situations I described in my first post.

n-ray,

You are right! It is the translation of "ciki" I am looking for. I don't know if it is possible to link this thread into the other language forums but I'll ask a moderator to do so.
Zsuzsu,
I think, with all these contexts, you obviously meant Hungarian "ciki". I know it's the English only forum, but I guess a great many Hungarians would be eager to find an equivalent for this Hungarian word in English. So could you or a moderator here please put a link on the Other languages forum?

Feel free to open a new thread in Other Languages, and provide a link to this thread by way of background.

The link for this thread is:

http://forum.wordreference.com/showthread.php?t=1240985
It is more often, I think, that teenagers use proper English than for adults to properly emulate teen-speak. And poor emulation would sound awfully lame.

If you are creating dialogue and are not perfectly certain of the colloquial usage then I would stick with conventional English.

I would use "embarrass" or "embarrassing" (or perhaps "humiliating").
Let's have another situation: What would Bridget Jones say if she fell down before Daniel Cleeves in her new dress which she decided to wear to impress him?

She was always a bit self-effacing, wasn't she? She'd make it a bit light, I think.

"How spectacularly idiotic of me!"

Her pluck was always admirable.

AngelEyes
1. she said that the group is very passive (we might call them shy) and they don't answer their teacher's questions very willingly. I wanted to ask her: why? Is it a faux pas to do so?

2. if you are 16 and wear something that your grandmother would, it is so old fashioned👁 Thumbs Down :thumbsdow
/retro👁 Thumbs Up :thumbsup:
.

3. speaking about adults, it is a faux pas to call your girlfriend in by your ex-girlfriend's name.

4. it is a faux pas to fall down at the opera in your beautiful dress.

5. it is a faux pas to tell your colleagues that your boss is an idiot while he is standing behind you...
4. it is a faux pas to fall down at the opera in your beautiful dress.
I can't agree with you here, Aardvark. In my book you commit a faux pas. Something which happens to you like this is a bit of bad luck, not a faux pas, except literally.
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