I need a fucking cigarette.

I have a cold feeling in my core. I don't know why but it's there.
It's like the cold has been following me around my house as of yesterday evening.
It frightened me.
I feel as though a weight has been lifted but a thick breeze has been blown.
Like someone is trying to push me out of the way.
The skin underneath my bottom lip is chapped. I don't know why but it's there.
I noticed it as of this morning.
It bothered me.
I feel as though I should have been aware of this before now, but something has kept me from knowing.
Like someone is trying to keep me from KNOWING.
Like someone is keeping me from knowing.

I want to shave off my skin and fat from my body
and i want to stick needles in my pelvis while someone watches.
i want to peel off my fingernails and pour salt on the nubs.
I want to lure someone somewhere, entice them and make them kneel and shut their eyes
and shoot them in the back of the head
and kiss their dead lips while their still warm.

face down
on the floor with your
fist in your mouth
biting down

just to make the pain
back up
(for a little while anyway)

toungue to cheek
I can taste the carpet through
my teeth and the
stifling noise of
crying

echoes off of every
surface

but you walk
step by step
shaking the ground below
knocking knees and
blowing steam and
salt water out of
(every pore)

splinters pushed deeper
and you're
clearing your mind

sliding down
your throat
(poison slows the reaction time)

this is what it feels like
living dime by dime

knuckles scraped, bone to fist
jammed in your mouth and
throwing fits
pushing bile out and
coughing at the
porcelain floors around it

I pushed your words out
through the back of my toungue
and into the bowl
and it spins before it dissolves
in that magical world
of water

sinking into the sea

Its all about
the person you wanted me to be

(Sorry Im inadequate)

You know, that sick juicy garbage feeling you get sometimes? I have that.
Vomitorium perfumey gingerale-ish turn stomach hurty pain spit smell feeling......





I hate my throat.

( GhostflowersCollapse )

Random lyrics of the day.

Welcome to the community I hope you enjoy yourself.