Actor-writer Piyush Mishra has opened up about his long and difficult relationship with alcoholism, sharing deeply personal experiences from a phase that impacted both his personal and professional life. Mishra spoke about the nature of addiction, calling it a “deadly disease” that often goes unrecognised, even by those suffering from it.

Speaking on Shubhankar Mishra’s podcast, Piyush spoke about his struggle with alcoholism. He said, “At one point, you start feeling that drinking alcohol is necessary. Its effect is such that a person wants to drink more. Alcoholism is a deadly disease, and even an alcoholic doesn’t realise that they are one. Even medical science has no cure for alcoholism. There comes a time when, whether you want to or not, you need alcohol, your body craves it. I have felt this myself.”

Piyush Mishra shared that although he struggled with alcoholism, he never consumed alcohol while working.

“I have never acted after drinking, nor have I ever gone to a set drunk. It did affect my life—I had an alcoholic mind. While singing ‘Husna’, I had an alcoholic mind; while working on Gulaal, I had an alcoholic mind—but I did not consume alcohol at that time. I used to drink because of physical craving, and you cannot suppress that craving.”

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He went on to speak candidly about how alcohol altered his behaviour, often making him act in ways he later struggled to recognise.

The actor said, “After drinking, I did many things that later made me feel, ‘This is not me.’ I had issues with my mother, and I said many hurtful things to her while drunk. My mother was living with me in Mumbai, and by then I had understood that I should forgive her for whatever past grievances I had, but even then, I didn’t stop. I said many harsh things to her.”

He added, “I made many inappropriate and obscene phone calls to women, and the next morning I wouldn’t even remember them. Later, when I mentioned it, they would say, ‘Sir, you said this on the phone last night—such vulgar things.’ I would say, ‘I can’t have said that,’ but they insisted that I did. At that time, I was not in control of myself. I was doing things I didn’t want to do—things I believed I could never do in a sane state of mind.”

Piyush Mishra admitted that his behaviour began affecting his professional life as well, with colleagues finding him difficult to work with. “Professionally, people were scared of me because I would behave in such ways. It started affecting my work. People began saying that I am very difficult to work with, and that perception still exists—that I am temperamental and hard to work with. I get tired of explaining that I am not that person anymore; I have largely gotten myself under control.”

While Piyush Mishra says he has not completely quit alcohol, he shared that he has learned to manage his cravings over time, particularly through spiritual practices.

“I have not completely quit alcohol—I still drink occasionally, but not regularly. The craving reduced through spiritual means. My actions and incidents while drinking kept increasing, and then in 2009 I suffered a brain stroke, which affected my right side. After that, I practised Vipassana and controlled my cravings. But I am still an alcoholic—alcoholism never goes away. You can take a daily reprieve. You can arrest the disease, but you can’t get rid of it.”

Describing how things spiralled during that phase, he said, “I had become an anti-social person. My work saved me. Otherwise, the things I have done… people would have killed me. Considering the kind of behaviour I had displayed, people would have beaten me to death,” he said.

In a 2024 interview with SCREEN, Piyush Mishra said alcohol had “hampered” his art and added that no drug “enhances” creativity. “I was in a very bad state; it had affected me neurologically. Under the influence of alcohol, I had started to speak nonsense.”

Mishra said that even when he wouldn’t drink, his mind would function like that of an alcoholic, causing him to “react differently” to situations. “Like speaking some rubbish in front of elders. I returned from the verge of destruction. I knew if I continued like this, it would be the end of me.”

Disclaimer: This article discusses addiction and alcohol use based on personal experiences shared by Piyush Mishra. It is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered medical advice. Alcoholism is a serious health condition, and individuals are advised to seek guidance from qualified healthcare professionals or support services for diagnosis, treatment, and recovery.

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