Conversations around addiction often focus on the individual struggling with substance use, but the emotional ripple effects on families, especially children, can be just as profound. In an old interview, Dhurandhar star Arjun Rampal reflected on how his father’s alcohol addiction affected him, offering a window into an experience many people quietly relate to.

“I loved my dad, but unfortunately, at some point, he became addicted to alcohol. My initial years with him were great, then in the middle, due to the addiction, there was no communication between us. I distanced myself, and the relationship got strained. Towards the end, in the later stage of his life, I started helping him. I took him to rehab and got him connected back with his family. I had not spoken with him for years. We started writing letters to each other, and that’s when we revived our relationship. But then, he got really ill, suffered a heart attack and passed away. I wish he could have spent more time with us. My dad left, then my mom passed away, and that’s when they sent me my baby boy to fill that void,” he told Bombay Times.

Reflecting on the larger picture, he also shared, “I don’t think any parent wants to let their children down. I don’t think that was my father’s intention. Addiction of any kind comes from a lot of pain or trauma, which that person must have gone through in their past. I wonder what it was that took him down that route. Sadly, I could never get down to the root of that. I openly talk to my kids about it, as I don’t want them to ever fall into addiction.” Speaking about becoming a parent later in life, he added, “Ariv was born when I was 50, and 50 is the new 30 (laughs). But really, it’s just a number. What I do is take good care of my health, as I want to stay really fit and be there for them.”

His experience brings up important questions about how children process a parent’s addiction, the long-term emotional impact, and whether these early experiences influence the kind of parents they become. 

Counselling psychologist Athul Raj tells indianexpress.com, “A child in that environment grows up too early. You are constantly adjusting, watching, and figuring out what version of your parent you will get that day. Love feels real, but it does not feel reliable. In stories like Arjun Rampal’s, where there were good years before things shifted, the confusion runs deeper because the child has known stability once.”

He continues, “As an adult, you may know how to care and show up, but trusting someone else to do the same feels risky. There is often a quiet expectation that things can fall apart. So you either hold on too tightly or keep a part of yourself held back.”

When addiction is involved, Raj notes that conversations tend to collapse quickly into defensiveness or silence. Repair cannot happen in the same charged space. It needs distance.

He suggests, “Writing letters changes the pace. You can say what you actually feel without interruption or immediate reaction. For the person struggling with addiction, it softens shame. For the other person, it creates a rare chance to be heard fully.”

But trust does not return because of one honest exchange, he says, it rebuilds through what follows. If words are not backed by steady, changed behaviour, they lose meaning. People who have lived through this are not looking for perfect apologies. They are watching for consistency. 

You do not break this pattern by accident. You have to look at your own history clearly. What you missed, what hurt, what you still react to. Otherwise, it quietly shapes how you parent. “It then comes down to showing up differently, especially in small, everyday ways. Being available. Not shutting down. Not making the child guess what mood you are in. Children do not need perfection; they need steadiness,” stresses.