Relationships often go through phases of change, and when two people are not growing in sync, challenges tend to surface. On the show Two Much, hosted by Twinkle Khanna and Kajol, actors Salman Khan and Aamir Khan opened up about this very issue, mixing light banter with some strikingly honest reflections.

Salman spoke about how imbalances in personal growth can create insecurities in a relationship, mentioning, “When a partner grows more than the other partner, that is when the differences start coming in; that’s when the insecurity starts setting in, so they both need to grow together. Both need to get off each other’s backs. I believe that.”

Aamir then asked him directly why his past relationships didn’t work out. To this, Salman replied, “Yaar, nahi jama toh nahi jama (If it didn’t work, it just didn’t). If there is anyone to blame, I am the one to blame.”

Many people experience similar struggles of insecurity, imbalance, and self-blame when it comes to relationships.

Sonal Khangarot, licensed rehabilitation counsellor and psychotherapist at The Answer Room, tells indianexpress.com, “As a psychologist, I often see couples struggle when one partner seems to ‘outgrow’ the other. Growth doesn’t have to create distance; it can build a deeper connection if approached with mutual respect.”

Practically, she says, couples can:

Khangarot mentions, “As a psychologist, I’d say taking responsibility when a relationship ends is both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, it reflects maturity — acknowledging our part allows us to process, accept, and move forward without being stuck in blame games. On the other hand, when this slips into excessive self-blame, it can numb deeper emotions and prevent genuine healing.” 

Whether it empowers or harms depends on the individual’s personality and past experiences. “The key is balance: reflect honestly on what was within your control, but also recognise that relationships are co-created and don’t fall apart because of one person alone,” she notes.

Many breakups stem not from lost love but from subtle mismatches that build over time. Khangarot shares, “Early signs include feeling dismissed when sharing achievements, one partner avoiding difficult conversations, or growing resentment around differing life goals. Emotional distance — where partners stop celebrating each other’s growth or feel threatened by it — is another red flag.”

To address this, she suggests that couples should engage in open dialogue about their evolving needs, create shared rituals that keep them connected, and consciously validate each other’s individuality. Growth in a relationship means moving forward side by side, not in competition, but in support of each other’s evolving journeys.