I was visiting my friend, the ex-learned brother, now elevated to the bench from the bar to judge. The usual chatter about the days when we had entered the hallowed portals of the august institution as young black-robed brethren was conspicuous by its absence.

The upper class English gentlemen-like ‘‘a trifle warm?’’ from the Judge sounded stilted and loud in the house. ‘‘Something is amiss, Watson,’’ me thought. In a burst of Holmesian genius, I realised the usual pitter-patter of little feet accompanied by various laryngeal outpourings was missing.

Having come from a jolly family of eight brothers and sisters, the Judge in these days of one-child family norm, had at the last count the distinction of being the proud father of three boys and one girl. I tried to locate the spoors and signs of the existence of the little people. No nappies, baba-suits, suspenders and thingammies on the washing line. A surreptitious inspection of the premises did not reveal any he-men or Barbies to the naked eye.

At my persistent queries, the Judge disclosed that a new legislation was on the anvil prohibiting any person with more than two issues from continuing as a Judge as a necessary disqualification devised in the national interest. As per the Statement of Object and Reasons, there was no one better suited than the judiciary from setting an example to achieve the constitutional goals of raising the level of nutrition, standard of living and improvement of public health. The Judge revealed that as a pre-emptive strike, Chunnu, Munnu, Bunty, Pinki had been spirited away in the middle of the night to the houses of obscure relatives in faraway places scattered around the length and breadth of this vast and ancient land.

Meanwhile, opposing the proposed legislation, the Akhil Bhartiya Abhivakta Sangh revealed that studies had conclusively established that Vikramaditya was wiser than Solomon, had more than two issues and was the very epitome of the impartial dispenser of justice.

Cutting through the debate with incisive logic, Mr Pingadia exhorted the majority community to have more than four children as being eligible for contesting elections was of no material or spiritual use if this holy land was over-run by people with four wives and 64 children.

The All India Pseudo-Secularists Association AIPSA demanded that the law be implemented uniformly for all and as per the two child norm the judicial functions of Dashrath, father of Ram, Laxman, Bharat and Shatrughan, be taken away with retrospective effect.