remember to smile

I would understand if you felt unconfrontational,
and If I am not your type
and I would understand if you were overwhelmed and feeling shy,
or there was simply too much light shining in your eyes
but I doubt thats the case you looked so repulsed as you looked away
can you think of any better way than to make me feel so ugly and ashamed
what am I? just a boy who tried to make eye contact with you and smile,
oh tell me what am I?
for I want nothing more than to know that I know nothing
but I still think and feel and know that I am nothing

Please forgive me, For I am truly sorry, I didnt know I wasnt supposed to be concerned
about the comfort, and well being, of someone whos name I had just learned
so listen closely, my newfound and absent friend,
because Im only going to try one time, to ever speak to you again

you said that I suck at life, you said that I'm full of shit
but you were drunk so i was willing to take it
injest, i request, you ingest less alcohol
lest you let your selfdestructive habits unrelent but if youre
so intent on wearing the contents of your stomach in your hair
you should at least stick to beer next time
it tastes slightly better, it takes slightly longer
and it wont burn the whole way down unlike the drinks that are so much stronger
I'm no longer trying to impress you, nor just trying to undress you
id just like to get to know you, maybe get the chance to show you
what I look like without the mask of party goer
start things over a little bit slower
I really liked my lips on your neck the scrape of your teeth on my finger
whyd you have to be such a swinger, im such a sucker for cute bi girls

Please forgive me, For I am truly sorry, I didnt know I wasnt supposed to be concerned
about the comfort, and well being, of someone whos name I had just learned
so listen closely, my newfound and absent friend,
because Im only going to try one time, to ever speak to you again

yay! recorded a song and uploaded it into my myspace legion acount

http://www.myspace.com/legionofsheep

I wrote a new song.
It's about space pirates.

heres tentatively some of the lyrics

i dont like your definition of freedom
so im going out to make my own
ill recruit a crew and call them family
well make a ship and call it home
well sail it out beyond the sunset
to find ourselves amongst the stars
well terraform or terrorize
and one by one they'll be ours

Car Troubles

my standard model is an automatic, lacking the necessary drive
so I took you out for a test ride and stayed the night a couple of times
but first gear, second gear, third gear its all the same thing
its such a shame that it wont go when ive made sure the engine is already warm
the owners manual reads like fiction and the brakes cant fight the friction
youre a stick shift where the clutch schticks and I refuse to pay for it

while its all too true that I love you I do not lust for you
and I do not blame myself for my inability to overcome your inhibitions
but I feel so out of it, this is just another convenience
its the name of the age and the word of the day
my oil is burning down and sometimes I forget to remind myself
it needs to be changed

pure nihil

theres nothing in that white mail truck for me
theres nothing in the fridge i'd like to eat
theres nothing on the tv im in the mood to see
theres nothing at the movies worth the 7.50

theres nothing i have that's meaningful to say
theres noone around all my friends have moved away
theres noplace id like to take a walk
theres nobody around who'd like to sit and talk

how am i supposed to feel
like a unique and beatiful snowflake
when the sun just melts it down
the dirt turns into mud and it all becomes brown
maybe at the end of all days
when every sun burns out and every atom decays
something truly beautiful would be found
with absolutely nothing around

ill work on more prose so i can get it put up here

I have a ton of unfinished things I deem unworthy to publicly display in word form only at this point

a week ago I placed flyers announcing legion of sheep is looking for musicians at the tech, at dw college, at newbury comics, at guitar center and at barnes and noble

no response yet...

i might make more and look for different places to put them..

any ideas?

Heart's irate tirade

I thought that I had found you and pierced through all the layers that surround you
but instead receive the bitter taste of the callouses left in my place
and I will dream tonight of all the things that truly wet my whetted appetite
my clothes with your dress on the floor in a mess and the love i never had the chance to miss
this infatuation is almost infuriating for i have yet to decide whether to run with it or away to hide
to wait for the grace of your embrace or let it end, die and subside

I apologize for the words I never said and for the words Im saying now if theyre too awkward or intense
but it seems to me to be in my vein to give in to the insanity of my vanity and to speak out with the wrong brain
I was just stroking the erection of my EGO as opposed to wondering about where we'd go
but GOD DAMMIT, and it feels so good to let that thought out be it however uncalled of me to shout outloud,
but you'd take me and embrace, you'd hug me and love me and show me
the same passion in your affection for everyone else
and while i am niether surprised nor ashamed for such love is not out of place
how could you blame me, for not thinking it to be out of the ordinary?

when i disappeared as abrupt and quickly as what I percieved was your fascination with me,
the distance was for too long but not too far nor out of reach
I made attempts to keep in touch when you would as much or little more
than life your fingertips from a keyboard

and you think your thoughts of me having left have left you feeling empty or numb?
that my being gone gave you alone pain when I thought I had realized your need for me had done the same
I fell in love with you before I even saw you
I fell in love with you before I knew your name
you were too young and I didnt know a thing about you but I fell in love
I feel in love with you just the same

All that is holy

somewhere lost between the disenchanting prospect of accepting a dark and disappointing truth of his new found profession and the hormone laden chaos muddled thinking of a not quite 20 something's thought process processing processes of an all too flattering discourse, something by the way of "for the love of god and all that is holy, show me eros!". Composing thoughts on reciept paper is a third person perspective, yet another i mean, like mirrors watching tv screens, a phrase is coined that rolls of the tongue like rolling coins into a black hole display in museums for little birds with broken wings and we sing "composing thoughts and words of truth, I blink my eyes and think of you" but you, who is undefined, and unclear, you do not stand before me, and you stand for everything you stand for all that is holy.

~

I am the robot

I took a step outside for some fresh air among a can of pea soup and a zebra striped slope
to cross down these threshholds with my mind made up on matters dealing with heart and with hope
and its just like the night i got high without toking upon the realization that all the mirrors were smoking
a floating jewel of the cosmos whos own point of being is to play tricks with the very light it is seeing

I am the robot and the programmer, metaprogrammer
I am the sleeping god, half awake
but dont talk to me now, I wont remember what I'll say
I am the buddha and I am killing the buddha
I am a great depth and great height
I am a single point of light

No longer will I wait here for a passing glance
stuck waiting for a second chance
to catch you by surprise
to grab hold of you by the eyes
oh wont you, throw me smiles
like change dropped into a begger's cup
how fitting
I feel out of luck
could you send me a sign to guide the way
or drop me a line for me to follow
for I see no other torches on this road
except for all the ones I hold
and theyre not for me

the wind keeps talking on and on but no words can be discerned
I seem determined to deter myself from fate
and the path im walking now, the one im burning down,
is like a tunnel through the tall grass
yet I firmly believe that we should walk the paths we make

~

If I turned around and saw the world I thought was there,
the way ive been told and then so told myself;
the way that it will always be
should i be surprised to find myself not staring
out into some perfect view
of points of light stretching out into infinity
what if time and space were to collapse
before my eyes like shattered glass
the dust reflecting light and truth
and this idiotic savant design
to make myself a hollow point
between mirrors so the light could pass
would this be a perfect life?
would it look like perfect white?

To dead ends and false starts
i tip this glass to recognize its reflection is the only thing
that seams to be a danger to myself

the delusions of defeatist
these too pessimistic prophecies are tempting and self fullfilling, but the truth is this:
i only fail when willing

reflection and refraction
this mirror image self this ego hell, awareness' trap; drop this last veil
and show the face of being

these illusions are transitory
this samsaric dance and karmic cycle all seem pointless when compared to that
which can only be described as now.


~


Ill be performing at jackies grad party this sat hopefully

ill do as much as im willing to do, which will probably be like a whole set


it should be awesome


the legion is marching on...

this was meant to be a community update, but i didnt do it like that, so im doing it like that now,
despite the fact that i still have the same exact words as a regular lj update still up..

enjoy..

~

hmmm...smiths place is such an inconvenient drive, i think ill begin recording at greg's house, which may prove itself to be more accomodating than it now appears, and It wouldnt be too unwise of me to check the acoustics out before I actually try setting anything up down there that would serve as a makeshift recording studio


as soon as we both find the time, and its convenient for the rest of the household (ie no playing music while his mother is trying to sleep) ill be recording some stuff and setting up an account on some music hosting site, more than likely soundclick

then if the recording quality over here is really shitty ill just have to arrange something with smith to get shit recorded

man, im so lazy, i should have like 2 albums written right now
granted i could record a whole ep of originals, most with lyrics
which is more than i could boast last year, im going to get my act together (hehe, how many times have i said this before??)

im sleepy, so im going to go pick up greg from work, smoke a clove, and take a nap before work...

i wish you all the best

In the year 2005 I resolve to: Leading a Legion to victory.

There is a warcry echoing from the hills.
The wolves are coming, descending from the forests and steppes to free the sheep, grasped by the unfathomable greed of the pigs. They come to lead the sheep to greener pastures and safer vales, and perhaps to teach the sheep to become like wolves. The time for planning is coming to an end, now the time for action is soon arising.


We are the wolves.
We challenge the corrupt pigs who enslave the sheep, We call the sheep to liberation.
We play our war drums, We sing our songs and we dance
...and may those who listen find peace and solace in our message.
May the bondage of ignorance be lifted by our intentions.

May we live to see a day when all are free.

May we live to see a day where all may truly live.

recording next thursday at smiths.

interested in coming alec?

oh hey, whens that con? this weekend?

another song I want to cover..hehe

anatomy of your enemy by anti-flag



10 easy steps to create an enemy and start a war:
Listen closely because we will all see this weapon used in our
lives.
It can be used on a society of the most ignorant to the most
highly educated.
We need to see their tactics as a weapon against humanity and
not as truth.

THIS IS HOW TO CREATE AN ENEMY. THIS IS HOW TO START A
WAR.
THIS IS HOW TO CREATE AN ENEMY.


First step: create the enemy. Sometimes this will be done for
you.

Second step: be sure the enemy you have chosen is nothing like
you.
Find obvious differences like race, language, religion, dietary
habits
fashion. Emphasize that their soldiers are not doing a job,
they are heatless murderers who enjoy killing!

Third step: Once these differences are established continue to
reinforce them
with all disseminated information.

Fourth step: Have the media broadcast only the ruling party's
information
this can be done through state run media.
Remember, in times of conflict all for-profit media repeats the
ruling party's information.
Therefore all for-profit media becomes state-run.

Fifth step: show this enemy in actions that seem strange,
militant, or different.
Always portray the enemy as non-human, evil, a killing machine.

Sixth step: Eliminate opposition to the ruling party.
Create an "Us versus Them" mentality. Leave no room
for opinions in between.
One that does not support all actions of the ruling party should
be considered a traitor.

Seventh step: Use nationalistic and/or religious symbols and
rhetoric to define all actions.
This can be achieved by slogans such as "freedom loving
people versus those who hate freedom."
This can also be achieved by the use of flags.

Eighth step: Align all actions with the dominant deity.
It is very effective to use terms like, "It is god's
will" or "god bless our nation."

Ninth step: Design propaganda to show that your soldiers
have feelings, hopes, families, and loved ones.
Make it cleat that your soldiers are doing a duty; they do not
want or like to kill.

Tenth step: Create and atmosphere of fear, and instability
and then offer the ruling party as the only solutions to comfort
the public's fears.
Remembering the fear of the unknown is always the strongest
fear.

THIS IS HOW TO CREATE AN ENEMY. THIS IS HOW TO START A
WAR.
THIS IS HOW TO CREATE AN ENEMY.

We are not countries. We are not nations. We
are not religions.
We are not gods. We are not weapons. We are not ammunition.
We are not killers.
We will NOT be tools.

I'm not a f**ker
I will not die
I will not kill
I will not be your slave
I will not fight your battle
I will not die on your battlefield
I will not fight for your world
I am not a fighter
I'm in UNITYYY!!!

i played something with greg and i just saying wierd, stream of concsioucness, whatever words/phrases came to mind sort of shit over it it was neat. i think im going to start steering towards a gloomy art rock direction akin to "godspeed ye black emporer" with of course a solid stream of post-hardcore roots so if anyone is ever in town and wants to see me for WHATEVER REASON be it music related or not, FOR THE LOVE OF SHEEP SOMEONE SPEAK TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

im tying down these little girls and cutting them up into even ribbons
so perfectly aesthitically to please the dark inside of me
im waiting at the docks as you all row out to sea oh cant you see me
me and my excuses for this excuse of an existance
and its time i realise im always fighting for the wrong things
sitting at the wrong times, speaking with my mouth full and with an empty mind
i wish that I could take a hint, I wish that I could take a hit
cause its that type of thing im missing, so normal, non descript
a piece of shit
is what i feel like
is what i am
is what i may always be left to be
i feel the need
for love
for growth
for company
and then society, oh society you wicked witch of the west
inject your poison into me
give me some therapy
because im running low on fuel
having trouble trying to think
and trouble trying to focus
when its the focus on the long term goals that really does the trick
but its the dulling mind enraptures
momentary escapes from the pain of life
causing me to sink
into a hole im really building for myself
and i know i cant rely on someone
anyone
anybody else
and this is my life, my time, my rope, my line
either I swing away or hang and die
get swept away or fight the tide
im trying
am I really trying?
is this tiring?
i tell myself im feeling fine
and I believe the words
because I know right now
none of the blood is mine
while everything ive ever done
up to this point
was waste your time
tick tock away
some times it seems that weve
got everything but time

green spires on red background
green spires poking through
the reddest of reds for the backdrop
dripping down hill from wounds

Im riding out from this manliest conquest
its the path of war that makes us great
the new face of natural selection
drink life from the teat of hate



i post so scarcely..

I can play a cheeky acoustic version of accident prone..

I kind of like it