I had a dream last night that my ex was made to have sex with three guys for drug money. In this dream he said his sister made him do it. While this may be a dream, there is some sort of truth to it. Which unfortunately I'm unable to explain on LJ.
When I woke up today I saw on FB that he was dressed in drag... Which he looks detestable in, And hanging with one of his old friends from school. She also does drugs. I dot know why I'm so bother by the person my ex never was. Does it bother me cause I was lied too? Because I actually believed it? I don't know but it needs to go away.

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags: via ljapp
Current Location: US, Virginia, Virginia Beach, Virginia Beach (city), Crashaw St, 821

Super excited that I really can use this for what I wanted it to be. A journal. A blog. Not some dram ridden, bull shit thing it had become.
Yay!!!!!

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

Tags: via ljapp
Current Location: US, Virginia, Virginia Beach, Virginia Beach (city), Snowdrift Cir, 3786

That would mean the rumors are in fact not true...

loves!

T

Current Mood: 👁 bored
bored

I miss LJ land!

Current Mood: 👁 chipper
chipper

..is something I can not control.

My group of friends is yet again changing. I’m finding I’m less trusting of those closest to me, with the exception of a few. I’ve (yet again) come clean with who I am as Thomas. As the Doc? Breaking down and starting over. One can only be ripped from for so long... it ruins my path of expression. I must step back and create something new.

On-line fighting? I’m done with being called things I’m not. Over being told how to write on my web-space. I’m done with proving who I am to those who don’t even know themselves. I’m also done with feeding jealousy and bitterness with my honesty. My honesty was once the trait held on such a pedestal by those who knew me.

I once said in my LJ that “you can’t help who you are not.” Well, you can’t help who you are are eather. So much for stating the obvious.
I’m feeling a change coming on. If its one I want or if it’s one I don’t. I’m ready for her.

I’ve learned to let go. I’m learning to change. I’m hoping to discover that which my younger self could not.

I could sit and write lists of what I’ve done... but no. I’m going to start a new one.

I’ve forgotten that I love things that I don’t do anymore.
*going to the gym
*doing “real” shows
*creating art
*giving to those who need
*being myself no matter what others think.


Perhaps this is the change?

Peace,
Dr. Chance de Valmont / T

Current Mood: 👁 anxious
anxious
Current Music: Dj Dara - Aphrodite vs. Micky Finn - Wishing on a Star (Jungle Mix)

Brian, the Boi and I went on a little adventure into Forest park today. We ended up on some road that we walked down and ended right back where we started.

Oh Joy!

Now I’m going to go wash my shit out at Brian and Mindy’s. Sorry to those Ember’s folk I missed tonight. I will see you tomorrow!

Current Mood: 👁 anxious
anxious
Current Music: No T

Halloween, is not a holiday I look forward to. Mainly, when I was a youngster it was my one night to find the costume that required the most make up. The only time I wasn’t a sissy for being different than others.
These days I almost want to stay at home and watch a movie when the spooky time is near. Hello! My weekends always leave me in a stupor, covered in raver scabies and that thin eyeliner that always appears after a night of sleep.
In plain english, Halloween is a night when many people pick something they are not, and make some sort of attempt to become that what they wish to be.

“.... what the fuck you think this is a costume? It’s a way of life!” Return of the Living Dead

Resonantly, through hear say ofcorse, I have found the best way to keep your “T’” in the clear is by accusing another of the same crime. Logic would say your expressed concern on a matter would validate your opinion on the subject. Pretty dickey if you ask me.


In the future save your breath and energy for a more worth while effort, like having it sewn shut. All shit talkers prove is how worthless and ignorant their own excellence is.
On the other hand tis a small price to pay for another humans happiness.

THe best part is more than likely, wait, never do these individuals actually know anything about myself or my life. OK if you must at least do me the honor of taking some time to be creative about your bullshit. I mean come on, calling out crack-head is so cool. Not to mention that a “CRACK-HEAD” would be someone who smoke or freebases Cocaine.

Oh yes that Meth problem we have not only in Oregon, Portland, and also continues to increasingly pelage our own community. These we call the tweaker people. In search of ending this epidemic we voice our best assuming call to them... TWEAKER! (as if they chopped and snorted that shit with them) It’s nice to be made aware of the 30 + years rewind we as people have made by calling those that MAY seam different from others by an assumed generalized name.

For example the use of the word Nigger. While it may be said by some, that there’s one in every race. This term is not used because of it’s historical meaning. It’s just not auk.

ALthough I’m no saint, I do not condone the use of anything that may cause addiction and or lead to death.
The data below gives an idea of what people most suddenly lose their lives to

Annual Causes of Death in the United States - http://www.drugwarfacts.org/causes.htm

Tobacco 435,0001
Poor Diet and Physical Inactivity 365,0001
Alcohol 85,000 1
Microbial Agents 75,0001
Toxic Agents 55,0001
Motor Vehicle Crashes 26,3471
Adverse Reactions to Prescription Drugs 32,0002
Suicide 30,6223
Incidents Involving Firearms 29,0001
Homicide 20,3084
Sexual Behaviors 20,0001
All Illicit Drug Use, Direct and Indirect 17,0001, 5
Non-Steroidal Anti-Inflammatory Drugs Such As Aspirin 7,6006
Marijuana 07


Just a thought, looks to me that our friend Jackie is more likely to be six feet under before our over sexed generation of twinks, although with the information she jotted in a post to me I’m assuming the alzimers from burning tin foil will kick in first. Now I know why it takes here so long to paint an eye.

THe moral of this read is: Everybody got dirt, sweep it, don’t spit on it.
oh and the second goes without saying. For heaths sake... don’t fuck with a de Valmont!

Honesty is ALWAYS the BEST (period),
Dr. Chance de Valmont

Current Mood: 👁 complacent
complacent
Current Music: Midnight in a Perfect World (DJ Shadow Remix)-portishead

I wish there was a way to turn back time. So many issues could be fixed this way. I’ve spent so much time looking back this last year, I’ve lost my turn to step forward.

My Grandma Ruth dying is something I’ve yet to deal with, it’s fucking hard. I haven’t even gone to pick up the stuff she left me. Nor did I attend the second service / funeral my family had for her. Is it selfish to think someone should have let me know? Is it?

(I’m grown and If anyone trys to bring this to the Escape Nightclub I will sue you, period.)

Over the last few months I’ve grown to love Jinx and Hollywood, as titleholders and individuals. They work their asses off for the youth, and yet all people do is talk shit about Matt and bitch to see Jerick on stage. What’s the point? These two people have taken a year of their own lives to help others. You should kiss their feet not spit upon them.

Jinx, what you said to me in the dressing room with Maddie that night, met the world to me. By saying those words you took away so much negativity in my life and replaced it with a light, a light I myself once showed you. Thank you.

Hollywood👁 Image
fearissubstance, I feel in many ways we are alike as people and that “status” has forced us apart. Your better than what people allow you to be. Remember never allow your name to exceed you. I’ve been where you are. If the time comes I’m here as an ear, a Thorn and a friend.

Dee👁 Image
devondavis, Someone once told me there comes a time of true a total exceptance in ones life. Your time will come. I respect that you blindly fight for a better community and world. You reach outside of that box and take what was to make it beautiful. Regardless of personal afflictions, I’m proud of you. (Just don’t be outside my apartment at four in the morning! LOL) Your truly an original who will always hold a place in my heart.

Cloudy, even-though I barely know the “real” you. Your little notes and messages to me brighten my day, each and every time. You have an awesome glow to your presence, that others should think of as a gift to be had.

Pepper / Mike👁 Image
pepperplatinum, You have been my lifeline, in a dark gross path. I’m glad I found you. What else can I really say?

Cashmeir / Nat👁 Image
cashmere_dubois, Even in “our” moments of craziness, your voice has always been a comfort to my soul. You can tame me in my most outrageous of rants. I know I still owe you a post. It’s coming soon.

Malano / Jerrod👁 Image
malano_dubois, My lost boy, of all of my kids, you are the only to have a special cleared spot in my closet, you know for throwing a party thats electrifying! I miss you.

Vegas / Curtis / Monique, we finally become the friends we always should have been and you leave me. But I’m ok with that. You watched me go through the hardest time in my life. And you were ok with it. Nobody would have done that and I thank you. You have truly seen the other side of The Lovely Dr Chance de Valmont. Be better than that. Loves.

Jackie, Kiss my ass, and learn to write something other than METH on your LJ and my-space. It gives the tweaker a bad name.

Red & Erotica / Tiff & Claire, I don’t think I could truly explain in words how I feel about you two . You have pissed me off to no end, but have been here for me when no-one else could. But hey thats what families for right? LOL I love you.

Danny & Donnie, I’m glad I pulled my head out of my ass long enough to say I’m sorry for the fucked up shit I may have caused you. Or to say fuck you for all the shit you have caused me. But then again your family.

Dustin👁 Image
sniffalotta69, I don’t really know where you are but I’m glad your on a fresh path. Your so much better than a bunch of tweaked out monkeys, keep on your path. I also have your crown when you are ready for it.

Anastasia / Gene, When you find yourself, I’m here. Don’t know if Jake will care to ever see you but yea. You fucked up big time. My Grandma always said, “Don’t go meddling in others lives, cause you don’t know when they will meddle in yours.” You have a lot to hide from others, I don’t. We have opened our home to you and what in return? PLease stop fucking with our lives.

Char, Glitter John👁 Image
glitterjohn, Miss Sum Sum👁 Image
summer_seasons, I couldn’t be reigning with better bitches than you. You have all been there, covered my ass, taken care of me and more. Tip Tip! OHHHHKAYYYY

For everyone else smooches!

oh yeah... Etienne you still owe me sex.


Later,
TT - Thomas Anthony
AKA
Dr. Chance de Valmont

Current Mood: 👁 complacent
complacent
Current Music: Lose Control-Missy Elliott

Where am I supposed to run?

Cna you tell me that?
Here comes the train...
Good night

Current Mood: 👁 complacent
complacent
Current Music: Champagne supernova-Oasis

I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.

I find 90% of you assholes are sheep. Yes Bah!

For the other 10% that arn't back stabbing, shit talking, plegeraizing, tweaker low lifes... you rock.

______
Got in a car wreak today. My boi's back is all fucked up and the warden may freak.
Not that she hasn't freaked for the last five years. But this time I'm shit talking taking, backstabbing suppossed friend. Called the warden up, and told her that I'm physicaly and sexually abusing Jake. *I'm glad the cracked out hooker found something to do with her free time. She has so much of it.

Night LJ land!



And remember... spread the t!


Loves,
TT

Current Mood: 👁 blah
blah