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No second chances, I'm that sort of man.
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  • Welcome to the Shadow Gallery
There is no flesh and blood within this cloak to kill. There is only an idea. And ideas are bulletproof
29 December 2028 @ 04:27 pm
I realised that I haven't posted publicly on my LJ in such a long time. As you might have guessed, all of this is now friends only so if you're a casual passerby there will be little or no new content here for the foreseeable.

If you want to keep up with my non-LJ exploits, my public photo blog can be found via the link below.

07 March 2020 @ 04:08 am
07 March 2020 @ 04:06 am
22 March 2018 @ 04:13 pm

πŸ‘ rose - WTC site 2016






The world is full of cowards, bullies and hypocritical privileged pieces of shit.



Some of them do this to protect themselves or their livelihoods.



Some of them do it because they like it.



Others do it in fear, a reaction which has a resemblance to flight or fight.





There is something else in the mix though - to be punished for standing up for what one believes in or a person who genuinely challenges a wrong only to be met with cries of #abuser or #victim shaming...is disappointing.





We now live in a society where all genders are empowered but social media as a creature is out of control.  Opinion has become "truth" and so has ideology if one shouts and screams loud enough.



However, imagine for a moment that there is no truth - only fact and when in happenstance, someone warps the facts to suit themselves, that could be perceived as....evil?  Hitler did it, Putin is doing it as we speak.  Trump has been doing it...well, since he went on the campaign trail.  Don't get me started on Syria either.



So, disappointment?  No....this feels more like a tribal approach with a hint of something I cannot quite put my finger on right now.



This kind of behaviour is not only happening on a global scale, it's happening on a macro one which has had a serious impact upon my well being to the point where I am reviewing my options regarding my anti-depressant medication.





But the worst thing is....the impact upon me has come from so called "fandom" - a mechanism designed to celebrate and bring out the best in people but I believe we are in dark times when people "moneytise" their output and depend on others like little parasites to pretend their careers are legitimate and worthy of recognition.



Publishing and fiction are dying, cinema is decaying...as consumers we have killed all the markets to the point where social media considers us all creators of content, except...most of that content is execrable.  We're just little people, sitting in our boxes pressing like buttons that shape our universe.  Or even more horrifying, participants in a Milgram experiement.



However, do you know what disappoints me more - passive behaviour.  The willingness to sit by and tolerate negative, bullying activities with the excuse of "I cannot step in, my book is in danger".  That is bullshit and if you say that, you're an enabler.



Think about that for a moment - shout down the actions of others, deny that activities have taken place and endorse poor behaviour?  Well time travel back to Germany in 1914 and measure your activities against...well...you do the math.





So, either be passive or challenge at the sake of reputational risk?  The choice is yours, if you have a choice that is?



First they came for the Socialists, and I did not speak outβ€”
Because I was not a Socialist.

Then they came for the Trade Unionists, and I did not speak outβ€”
Because I was not a Trade Unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak outβ€”
Because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for meβ€”and there was no one left to speak for me.


We do what we're told.




19 March 2018 @ 03:31 pm
Beans on Toast eaten - 2 slices and one tin of beans/sausages. Success.

Comics read - 5 ( Amazing Spider-Man issue 144-148).

Cats engaged with - 3. River, Romana and Lucy.

Tidying done - a little.

Dishes/washing up done - 0.

Scattering of dead mother's ashes in local cemetery- booked for April. Cost - Β£38.50. (This dying lark is expensive, if you get the chance, don't do it).

Naps taken - 0.

Whisky bottle (3/4 full) gazed at - too many times.


Other stuff - still processing.
17 February 2018 @ 12:57 pm
Since the end of August last year, my life has been on hold somewhat since the death of my mother. Sorting out probate, her investments, the will and her funeral. Finally, my solicitor told me that the completion on the sale of mum's house was completed yesterday.


I feel strangely empty and relieved as I did not want to ever step foot in that house again. The property sold for a somewhat reasonable sum, not life changing but the money will come in handy and will be added to the monies that she left me after transferring her investments and disbursing the cash to her surviving sisters who were named in her will.

I'm still processing the whole situation - my father passed 13 years and two weeks ago. I no longer have parents. However, I have a loving wife, a home which is pretty much paid for and three awesome cats.

However, the above does make me feel blessed but it also questions my place in the universe - we're here for a finite time, we do stuff, make mistakes and then become carbon which feeds back into the eco-sphere.


So, I am thinking of creating a business venture with a friend, extending the house and making sure we invest funds for our future. But, I see some good holidays over the next decade or so and trying to experience more instead of living in a bubble ;)

Anyhoo, here's a new pic of Lucy to keep you entertained.

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31 August 2017 @ 01:15 pm
Over the past few weeks my mum has been very unwell, undergoing a battery of tests (various -ostomies/MRIs etc). Four weeks ago she had a fall and ended up being admitted to hospital.

While there, it was noted that she had a significant presence on her lung which turned out to be aggressive lung cancer which sent her white cell count and calcium levels off the chart. It had started to spread into her bones/bone marrow.

Steadily, she was stabilised and released to my aunt's care (she is an ex-nurse) last Thursday. Unfortunately, things took a turn for the worse as mum's condition deteriorated, she started to hallucinate and was admitted back into hospital on Monday (where Linda and I spent most of the day there, although she couldn't communicate properly and mum thought she was at work).

This morning at 5:45 am I got a call to say head to the hospital asap. By the time Linda and I got there at 6:30, mum had passed in her sleep.

She looked peaceful and although the last few weeks have been difficult for her, she is finally at peace.
30 June 2017 @ 05:05 pm
2017 - stop being a dick.


1) Lapse in my depression. Not good. Meds have been increased but anxiety levels are less than great.


2) My Mum - she's been very ill since December. Massive weight loss - possible dementia/cancer. She has problems with her short term memory and cannot remember conversations from 2 minutes previously. So many hospital visits and tests that she becomes angry, confused and sad. This is breaking my heart.

But, in other news, Linds and I are well on the whole. Just getting through things on a day-by-day basis.

In positive news, we have a new addition to our family soon!! Betsy!


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28 May 2017 @ 06:18 pm
Does thought structure language or does language structure thought?

Do emotions structure thought or do thoughts structure emotion?

Do thoughts precipitate action or does action impact upon thought?


What are thoughts? What is emotion? Are these just a chemical response or something hardwired into our state of being?
22 December 2015 @ 06:19 pm
On 10 December 2015 Linda and I made the most difficult decision. Our cat (of almost) 18 years was ailing due to an incurable liver tumour. Her descent (for want of a better word) happened over five days was noticeable, she couldn't walk a few feet without lying down or looking tired.

We were hoping for one last christmas together, to wake up, give her treats and say hello.

The vet who facilitated her passing was amazing, it was over in seconds but felt like a lifetime. We watched as her eyes closed and the life left her body. Her final moments will be forever etched into my memory.


Goodnight Ro, my amazing friend and forever companion.


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06 September 2015 @ 05:06 pm
16 December 2013 @ 04:25 pm
This was inspired by the original 1st appearance of the cybermen from William Hartnell's time on the show way back in his last story (prior to regenerating into Patrick Troughton) from the all time classic, The Tenth Planet For those interested, silver catsuit by honour which is worn underneath a transparent oversuit, again by Honour - http://www.honour.co.uk/plastic-clothing/unisex-body-suit.php I want to go back and reshoot these as the tungsten lighting I was using kept overheating - I may go back with the softboxes and slaved flashunits with a reflector although this lighting set up does give an eerie glow to the silver catsuit which was worn under the transparent outfit. The chest unit was made by this person here and she is open to general prop commissions. (junkyarddemon@yahoo.com)
08 December 2013 @ 08:56 pm
I guess I woke up today and the muse grabbed me/Linda.






Inspired by the movie Dalek Invasion of Earth 2150 ad.
26 July 2013 @ 12:32 pm
So, what has been happening - well, lots. Some great stuff and the odds and ends that life throws at you:

The good -

My job - I love it. Currently I'm specialising in investigations and the what not and it is one of those things I can't really talk about. So I won't. But it's so rewarding and great I might add.

Health - I am no longer taking anti-depressants and my illness (depression/anxiety disorder) is far away. This has to be the best I have felt since about 1996.

Linda - she's great. It's not so far away from our 20th wedding anniversary.


Life stuff -

Ro, our cat of almost 16 years has a non-cancerous tumour in her liver. She's doing really well but each day/week/month is a blessing. It is inoperable but with good nutrition, care and lots of love she can stay healthy. We love her to bits but when the time comes we know what to do.

Travelling -

not much of late due to various housing improvements and stuff. Something planned for next November that will be US (but not NYC) based.

Photography -

Still doing it, invested in lots of lighting stuff and some new props for another scifi shoot soon - one of these is on the way from ebay :)


πŸ‘ Vamp Fashion
πŸ‘ Vampire Fashion
πŸ‘ Vampire Fashion

πŸ‘ Vampire Fashion
πŸ‘ Vampire Fashion
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06 January 2013 @ 09:01 pm
New photos taken today....going for an Eastern European vibe ;)




In other news, looking at holidays for November on expedia - 15 nights in Orlando including flights for just over Β£700 quid :)

It's possibly a steal and a deal ;)
01 December 2012 @ 05:35 pm
We haz new (rescue) kitties! Since Buffy passed away in her sleep in September, Ro has been a little antsy. Linda and I got in touch with the Cat's Protection League and we have welcomed into our home two new 10 week old kittens. They are awesome and fingers crossed Ro will bond with them. We are now a three cat household :)

Edit: Piccies are here.

πŸ‘ Romana


Romana

πŸ‘ River


River
04 September 2012 @ 07:09 pm
1 Canon EOS 5D (MK i) camera body. Well looked after and in perfect condition.

1 EOS 5D Battery Grip (essential when taking portraits).

4 Lithium Ion Batteries (handy if travelling and you are not near a power source - good for about 1600 to 2200 shots). Adaptor within grip enables use of AA cells if required.

1 One gigabyte compact flash card.

Leads/software/camera strap.

The Canon EOS 5D is a professional standard, full frame digital SLR. It is compatible with Canon EF lenses (Due to this being a full frame sensor DSLR, it is not compatible with the cheaper EF-S lenses). Please note, this does not include a lens or a speed-light (this can be sourced quite cheaply via Amazon.co.uk). Genuine reason for sale - I've upgraded to the EOS 5D MKii.

http://photo.net/canon/5D/ for specs and review.

Paypal accepted (with conditions)

Β£650 or nearest offer

Drop me a line - postage will be extra, UK preferred and preferably someone I know here.

Images that this camera was used for can be found here:



EDIT Oops, forgot to say I sold the camera 2 months ago. Thanks for all the comments.
26 August 2012 @ 07:27 pm
Looking to get some contact lenses and maybe a long overcoat for the next one ;)
12 August 2012 @ 06:37 pm
05 August 2012 @ 02:22 pm
A selection of new pics from the last two or so months

hope you like them!



Please click for bigger versions :)
10 December 2011 @ 07:11 pm
'Ello LJ Land, hope you are all well. It's all been good here, more details to follow eventually but here's some eye-candy :)


05 August 2011 @ 03:19 pm
And welcome to Summer or at least what passes for it.

My posts have become less sporadic of late, mainly due to not having that much to say about...anything. I'll just say life is simple, straightforward and satisfying.

There are a few reasons why I haven't wanted to post of late, the main causation being something I said that clashed with my reality and I never realised the "virtual word" could be taken to be that of a "personal mission statement". I called someone out for being an asshole (not naming them or even hinting who it could be, I was *very* subtle), they didn't like it but they never had the guts to call me up on it. Instead, their passive agression caused a few issues and I called it a day on one aspect of my social media based life, in this instance facebook had to go.

This got me thinking. Why do I spend my time doing "popcorn" or "candyfloss" social interaction? Is it habit or something less straightforward? I realised it was more habit than anything when it came to interacting with people I already know and speak to on a daily basis so the need for posting anything other than lolcats (so 2008) and social minutae had to go. Along with it went my photo-a-day on blogspot as it seemed superfluous to my needs. I pretty much blogged it daily over the period of three years but the discipline of posting something when I *really* didn't want to started to absorb energy I didn't really have. I'm toying with the idea of starting a new, less "structured" blog. Something I can post to when I want and a place that will be used more to share ideas, photography and knowledge acquired before it slips out of my grasp (Yep, I'm getting to that age where I can no longer maintain my "memory palace" and need constant reminders or trips there - if you don't know what a "memory palace" is, google it).

So, to summarise - good place, fun times, selfish non-blogging me needs a new project. But this project can't be too personal as I've passed the point where I need to whine or vent. Virtual or electronic whining is so 2008...heh.

Anyway, I'm still doing the photography thing even though I haven't been too prolific of late. Some examples below. Off to finish that new Alan Moore biography thingy with the CD (which I have to admit, is rather splendid).

05 April 2011 @ 06:34 pm
Yep, still alive.

Here's a random pic.



Top Banana.

Cool Runnings.

Bobsleigh.

/Lizlemon_out
03 February 2011 @ 07:17 pm
I'm still here (just about). After a brief relapse in my depression (AKA The Glass Elephant), I am now back at work thanks to my lovely GP fixing my anti-depressants. It's been a funny couple of months (leaky roof due to slate problems, now fixed and some other odds and ends here and there!) but I'm getting there.

I have a feeling 2011 will be good (but I don't want to jinx it!). So far, managed to repaint the hallway with a lovely shade of blue, fix Linda's PC up to the telly in the living room (thus creating a media centre/internet facility as she has inherited my Dual Core laptop for home and work use).

Cats are being all catty. Buffy has a thyroid problem so we are trying to make her as comfortable and as happy as possible. She still acts like a kitten but she's almost 13 now! Teenage cats, eh?

Anyhoo, random NYC pic - due back there soon :)



In other news, Linda has taken over my Xbox and is loving Kinect. She has a gamer tag if you want to add her on Xbox Live too :)

Life, pretty simple right now and trying to make the most of it. Tomorrow will be the 6th anniverary to the day of my father's death. I will go out, buy some Laphroig and get ratted I guess. Or maybe jsut squiffy as I don't "do" hangovers nowadays ;)

I need to post more but also need to find things to talk about. Life is full of work and weekend shenanigans. Mainly we head out for a drive, visit some new places or potter round in town. Oh yeah, doing our first carboot sale in April so I'm bagging up and pricing old comics and DVDs and the odd collectable. Weeding out all my old Nightmare Before Christmas stuff and a few other bits and bobs. If you're in the Midlands and fancy funding my photography and travel habit, drop me a line ;)
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