Interviewer: So your husband, Tim Burton... actually, not your husband. How do you refer to Tim: your life partner, significant other, boyfriend?
HBC: I don't know; I haven't got a satisfactory word! Father of my bastards, perhaps?
HBC: I don't know; I haven't got a satisfactory word! Father of my bastards, perhaps?
For one reason or another, this "married" couple just never legally tied the knot.
Maybe one of them is an immortal vampire without Undead Tax Exemption. Maybe there were legal issues precluding an official ceremony/registration. Maybe one didn't want to get married but gradually ended up in a situation similar to it due to external circumstances. Maybe they always meant to but just never got around to it. Regardless of the reason, they are, for all intent and purposes, a married couple.
They may have children together or even be referred to as married, but they never got anything formalized. This doesn't mean that the couple never gets married; just that they go a very long time without doing so and little actually changes after the wedding. Many stories even end with the two getting officially married in a ceremony.
The specific term "common law" is unlikely to be used today unless the story is historical, as the concept was born from a time when there was more stigma against unmarried cohabitation, or a question of legal status comes up, as some jurisdictions still legally recognize "common law marriages" while others don't (Check yours before moving in or separating!). A "common law marriage" in 1958 would simply be a "long-term relationship" today. In fact, nowadays couples outside conservative cultures are expected to move in together before tying the knot, to make sure their day-to-day lifestyles are compatible.
A modern-day couple would only fall under this trope if they specifically choose not to marry or are legally unable to do so, such as if they're LGBT in a conservative country, or if it's a fantasy setting and one partner isn't human or biologically alive—vampire, android, alien, etc.—and thus they're not legally recognized as a person (though if such pairings are common, fighting for legal recognition could be a plot of its own).
See Happily Married and Declaration of Spousehood. Metaphorical Marriage represents a wedding-like moment that however is not an official wedding. It may result from a "Not Really Married" Plot. It may result in a Heroic Bastard and/or Post-Child Marriage. For more information, see the Wikipedia page.👁 Image
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- In Beastars, Gosha and Toki, who were Legoshi's grandparents lived together for decades and even had a daughter, but due to laws prohibiting interspecies marriage never were able to tie the knot. Even once those laws were lifted they still couldn't get married due to Gosha being a poisonous komodo dragon and Toki being a wolf, due to the danger he could pose to her due to his natural poison.
- By the end of City Hunter Ryo and Kaori are effectively this, as they live together and they obviously love each other, no matter how much they deny this, with Saeko's sister flat-out assuming they were married (and demanding they did so when the truth came out because she wanted to write a novel about them and the readers wouldn't like them being unmarried) and Kaori dropping a few hints... And stopping once she found out Ryo is Legally Dead, meaning they cannot be legally married.
- Trisha Elric and Van Hohenheim in Fullmetal Alchemist were never married despite having two sons together. This may have been due to Hohenheim being immortal and generally refraining from having close relationships with mortals.
- In the Gundam Wing sequel novel Frozen Teardrops, Heero and Relena are living together in a nice house on Mars, and are contemplating having a baby. They have had a wedding, but the marriage was not legally binding, because they were denied when they went to get the marriage license, because Heero couldn't produce documentation saying who his father was. When he finally finds that documentation, he suggests to Relena that they go get the legal aspect straightened out, so their eventual children won't have to go through the rigamarole and social stigma that he's had to go through.
- Implied in Lyrical Nanoha with Nanoha and Fate. They may or may not be a romantic couple and are certainly not married, but undeniably live together and raise Vivio as a daughter together.
- One Piece: The Elbaph arc has the giant Ripley and the human Mr. Ya. They never formally married due to how quickly humans age in comparison to giants; by the present day, he's an old man while she's the equivalent of a young woman in her mid-twenties. Despite this, they still love each other and are a happy and close couple.
- Yosho and Airi in Tenchi Muyo! are common law married due to their complicated history. They were classmates at the Galaxy Police Academy and eventually formed a relationship, where Airi became pregnant shortly before Yosho ran away to Earth. They met back up years later when Airi found him, their daughter Minaho in tow, and they got married by common law since Yosho was still officially MIA and their respective planets are bitter rivals so their relationship would be a major political bomb were it to be formalized.
- Tweeny Witches: Jidan and Atelia are referred to as husband and wife, having lived together for long and produced a son named Lennon. Because of the laws against relationships between witches and humans, they couldn't have legally married even if they wanted to.
Asian Animation
- Implied in Link Click episode 5.5. Siwen and his love interest Ou Yang are steadfast towards each other, and while Siwen's been challenging Oy Yang's father for her hand in marriage for decades, it appears the couple is pretty much married in all but formal title. Ou Yang's father offhandedly mentions that he's gotten at least one grandson from them, so it's not like they were kept from each other. They finally get permission at the end of the episode.
Comic Books
- In the Mickey Mouse Comic Universe Pete lives with Trudy, a childhood friend that effectively acts as his loving wife... But due to Status Quo Is God and her debuting as not his wife they never got married.
- Spider-Man: After the One More Day arc infamously retconned Peter and Mary Jane's marriage out of existence, their official backstory changed so that their relationship for the most part remained intact, but they never legally got married, and they merely broke up instead of divorced.
- Titans: In issue #100 of title New Titans, Dick Grayson and Kori'ander try out for marriage licenses, but they are denied by the Obstructive Bureaucrat, who rejects theirs due to Kori'ander being an alien. Offended, Dick then angrily explains he and Kory "have been living together" for years (an in, a co-habitation).
Fan Works
- A Bat's New Bird: Dick and Kori are essentially married already, but not officially. Dick tries to keep it a secret, but literally everyone knows, mainly because hiding things from a family of the world's greatest detectives is pretty much a hopeless endeavor. As it turns out, Dick just didn’t want to get married before Barbara, much to her irritation. They do intend to get officially hitched after Barbara and Dinah’s wedding, though.
- Eleutherophobia: How I Live Now features a lesbian who calls her partner "wife", but Word of God is that they're not officially married because same-sex marriage wasn't legal in 2001 California.
- Harry Potter and the Nightmares of Futures Past: Harry internally refers to Hermione having been Ron's common-law wife in the Bad Future, when remembering how her death affected Ron, but due to society collapsing around them and their constant hiding from the Death Eaters, they never had the chance for a formal wedding.
- In Naruto:Asunder👁 Image
and it's sequel Naruto:Rend👁 Image
, Hinata is exiled from the Hyuga and ends up living with and (then later dating) Naruto. Over time their relationship progresses to the point where they treat it as this trope since they tend to prefer living together, never hide that they are in a relationship, it's shown that in any official setting both are referred to with the last name Uzumaki, Hinata is called Naruto's wife a few times with neither denying the title and when they become caretakers to a child it is treated and processed as them adopting. Naruto does, however, at one point lament that their chaotic lives never gave them the chance to legally get married. - A Thing of Vikings:
- After Roisin is rescued, she and Fintan spend months living as a married couple without officially marrying due to Fintan's issues with Christian vows having been made a thrall by Christians and questions on whether or not they could marry using Norse Pagan vows.
- Once they find out she's pregnant, Tuffnut and Princess Mór try to get married multiple times, but some world-changing event always comes along and they have to postpone the wedding to help everyone deal with that. The first time, it's Stoick being attacked by King Henry, and it's implied one of the others is the beginning of the Crusades. They finally tie the knot in 1054, over a decade and five children since Tuffnut proposed.
Films — Live-Action
- If These Walls Could Talk 2: Abby and Edith can't legally marry or even be open about their relationship in public because same-sex marriages weren't remotely close to being legalised in their lifetime (the story takes place in 1961), but they've been in a loving, committed relationship for thirty years and live together in the same house, with both of them contributing to the mortgage. Sadly, the potential legal downsides of this kind of relationship seriously impact the couple when Abby suffers a stroke; Edith isn't allowed to see her while she's hospitalised because she's not considered a family member and subsequently doesn't find out until the following morning that Abby died. Although Edith had contributed equally to the mortgage, she still has no legal claim to the house and so it passes to Abby's only living relative, her nephew Ted. He decides to sell the house, forcing Edith to find a new place to live; she can't even lay claim to any of Abby's belongings as Ted and his wife have legally inherited them and promptly pack them up.
- Lincoln: Thaddeus is shown in bed with his (black) housekeeper who he loves as his wife, as interracial marriages are still unacceptable in society.
Literature
- In Dune (1965), Leto Atreides and Jessica are for all intents and purposes married, but she's officially only a bound concubine to keep Leto single for political maneuvering. This is also the case for their son, Paul, and Chani after he is made Emperor of the Known Universe and has to marry Princess Irulan for political reasons. This trope is even invoked by Jessica in the final lines of the novel.
Jessica: Think on it, Chani: that princess will have the name, yet she'll live as less than a concubine — never to know a moment of tenderness from the man to whom she's bound. While we, Chani, we who carry the name of concubine — history will call us wives.
- Earth's Children: In The Valley of Horses, Jondalar lives with Serenio and her son Darvolo for around two years. Jondalar and Serenio have an intimate relationship while also sleeping with other people, (although their culture doesn't quite have the same concept of infidelity as modern society) and Jondalar is viewed as a father figure by Darvolo. Jondalar eventually tells Serenio he thinks they should make their relationship official, asking her to become his mate and saying it will be an honor to have Darvolo as "the true son of [his] hearth". However, Serenio rejects him because despite their shared history and her feelings for him, she knows he's just settling and it wouldn't make either of them happy. Jondalar realizes she's right and they amicably break up.
- Mangoverse:
- Shulamit and Aviva, her companion, aren't married officially since this isn't legal in Perach (Shulamit's also married officially to a man). They are in every other way however.
- In The Olive Conspiracy Shulamit also encounters a trans woman whose marriage with her deceased husband wasn't legally valid as well, but in every other respect was.
- In The Neapolitan Novels almost all the married couples of the protagonists' ended up living with someone else other than their lawful spouse, with said cohabitation lasting far longer than the marriages. For example, Lila's marriage with Stefano lasts a couple of years, but she goes on living for decades with Enzo.
- Real Mermaids: The mermaid Michaela never got a legal identity when she came on land to live as a human, so she wasn't able to marry her human boyfriend Dalrymple. Despite that, they've been living together for at least fourteen years (not counting the year when Michaela was presumed dead) and have a child. Everyone assumes they're married, including their daughter Jade before she learns about her mer ancestry. By the time of Real Mermaids Don't Sell Seashells, Michaela has finally gotten some forged identity documents. She and Dalrymple make their marriage official in the Bahamas.
- A Song of Ice and Fire:
- Oberyn Martell and Ellaria Sand are "paramours," which in their native Dorne refers to a noble and their romantic partner that they can't legally marry, such as a bastard (in Ellaria's case), a commoner, or the same sex. Even if the noble takes a legal spouse for the purpose of joining houses, it's an open secret that their real partner is their paramour. In the rest of Westeros, such behavior is considered scandalous, but Dorne prides itself on being socially and sexually progressive.
- In the backstory, Aegon IV seemed to have treated his second mistress Megette as his wife in all but name, given he was already married (unhappily) to his sister Naerys, Megette was also married to another man, and Aegon's father would absolutely not approve of him being in a committed relationship with a commoner. Aegon had a secret "wedding ceremony" with Megette performed by a mummer playing a septon, set her up in a house in King's Landing, and visited her and their daughters often. Despite his reputation for promiscuity, Aegon apparently stayed with Megette for around four years, until his father discovered their arrangement and intervened.
- The Stormlight Archive: The Mr. Vice Guy Highprince Sebarial and his longterm mistress Palona are Happily Married in every way except the marriage itself; she's the head of his household and has a lot of de facto authority in his warcamps, which she uses very judiciously. It's mentioned that he's proposed to her several times.
- In Tales of the Otori, Muto Shizuka and Arai Daiichi have been together for years, and Shizuka has borne him two sons, but they have never formally married.
- In Witches Abroad, Desiderata Hollow says Ella Saturday was "born out of wedlock, but none the worse for it. I mean, it wasn't that they couldn't get married, they just never got around to it."
Live-Action TV
- Dharma & Greg: Dharma's parents deliberately chose never to marry. They consider this a beautiful symbol of choosing to stay together again every day, but Dharma confesses towards the end of the show that she spent her entire childhood panicking that tomorrow would be the day they decided not to.
- On an episode of The Dick Van Dyke Show, Rob and Laurie discover that, since Laurie lied about her age when she married Rob, their marriage was illegitimate. The next episode was about them marrying for real.
- Doctor Who: Madame Vastra and Jenny consider themselves to be married, but the society of Victorian London where they live doesn't recognize same-sex relationships (let alone interspecies ones).
- In Game of Thrones, Prince Oberyn Martell cannot marry his paramour Ellaria Sand because she's considered too lowborn (the bastard daughter of a lord), but they act like a married couple in every other sense; they have been together for years, have children together, Ellaria is stepmother to Oberyn's older daughters and she accompanies him to formal events such as royal weddings.
- The Gilmore Girls revival reveals that, ten years later, Luke and Lorelai are still together, but still unmarried. After Lorelai reevaluates the relationship, they finally tie the knot in the final episode.
- How I Met Your Mother: The series finale, which is set over multiple years, reveals that this was the case for Ted and Tracy. The two were engaged, but the wedding was postponed after Tracy got pregnant...twice. After being engaged for five years and having two children together, Ted reproposes and they get married just a few days later.
- Interview with the Vampire (2022):
- Both homosexuality and interracial marriages were unlawful in the early 20th century Louisiana, so no legal options were available to Lestat de Lioncourt and Louis de Pointe du Lac to formalize their union. They make do with an impromptu Metaphorical Marriage, consummate it, and then Louis moves into Lestat's townhouse (during The Edwardian Era, it was typical for a newlywed woman to leave her family home to settle in with her new husband) where they live together like a married couple. Although they're in a committed relationship and acknowledge that they're a family, they never refer to each other as either "husband" or "spouse" in Season 1.
- Although Lestat called Louis his companion thrice in Season 1, it's only in Season 2 that it's clarified that the vampire term for a committed relationship is a "companionship." It's still not quite the equivalent of an official human marriage, though — there are no weddings or legal documents to sign — it's simply an agreement between two vampires that they're each other's primary romantic partner. Their arrangement can also easily be dissolved when one partner leaves the other, so it's not all that different from a regular break-up. Daniel Molloy refers to Armand and Lestat as Louis' boyfriends, and Louis doesn't correct him.
- Moonlight Chicken: Due to taking place in Thailand before same-sex marriage was legalized, there are multiple examples among the adult cast of committed gay couples who live together without being married.
- Parks and Recreation: Ann and Chris become this after they officially get together. While they love each other and have two children together (who use both of their surnames), they don't get married since they aren't ones for convention.
Theatre
- Invoked and Exploited in Legally Blonde. Emmett and Elle realize that Paulette and Dewey's ten-year relationship would be legally recognized as a common law marriage by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts,note The real Massachusetts doesn't actually recognize common law marriages unless the marriage is originally from another state, but that's neither here nor there. entitling Paulette to reclaim some of the marital assets Dewey took when he left – like her dog.
Video Games
- Played for Drama in Assassin's Creed III: Liberation when Aveline's parents Jeanne and Philippe couldn't get legally married due to miscegenation laws, so she was his placee👁 Image
bride. Phillipe ended up marrying a white woman named Madeline, who became Aveline's stepmother. - Chasing Sunsets: None of Alex's endings with Mallory have him be married to her, with her insisting that she does not believe that she needs marriage to formalize their relationship. When Alex says that he would like to make things official with her while the two are surfing in Bora Bora, the two exchange vows while on their surfboards:
Mallory: Do you, [Alex] Campbell, take this hot mess to be your spontaneously-wedded wife? To love and protect, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until death do us part?
Alex: I do...And do you, Mallory Chapman, take this adrenaline junkie to be your surprise husband? To honor and obey, to keep in sickness and health, forsaking all others as long as you live?
Mallory: I do. But we'll need to negotiate the 'obey' part over the honeymoon. - In Dragon Age: Origins, this is what happens with your love interests unless you marry Alistair or Anora. With Leliana, Zevran, and Morrigan, you never officially marry, but you're still together 10 years later during Dragon Age: Inquisition. In Morrigan's case, the two of you are even raising the child you conceived in the first game.
- John and Abigail in Red Dead Redemption 2. They're a deeply committed (if somewhat belligerent) couple with a son between them, but their allegiance to the Van der Linde Gang precludes any notion for them to wed legally. The game's epilogue sees them officially get married after they've separated from the gang and settled down on Beecher's Hope.
- In The Roottrees are Dead, Caroline considers Eloise as her wife for "half their lives" and is raising the former's daughter with her, although their union is not legally recognized because same-sex marriage hadn't been legalized in Pennsylvania in 1998.
- A more questionable case crops up in Star Wars: The Old Republic with Darth Malgus and Eleena Daru. Eleena was a Twi'lek slave Malgus acquired, using her as a Sex Slave and for various tasks, but grew fond of her. Eventually, the pair considered each other this, but Eleena had no legal standing in the Empire other than being a Sith Lord's prized property. Malgus also beat her when he was angry (and being a Sith, he was often angry), and when another Sith pointed out she was a potential liability, he murdered his "wife" in her sickbed. He faced no legal repercussions for this. Sith are above the law in the Empire, and Eleena was "merely" a Twi'lek Sex Slave as far as Imperial law saw it.
Webcomics
- El Goonish Shive: By the events of the Squirrel Prophet arc, Tedd and Grace have been a happy couple for long enough that combined with the fact they live together, their own friends describe them as practically married.
Western Animation
- Adventure Time: Zig-zagged with Jake and Lady Rainicorn. They've been dating since before the series began, are still together five in-series years later by the finale, and in a song Jake even described Lady Rainicorn as "basically my wife." However, they only lived in the same house when they were raising their children—which only took a few weeks.
- Miraculous Ladybug: Johnny and Gabrielle Grassete. Despite using the same last name, wearing rings, and raising Gabriel Agreste, they are not legally married.
- Steven Universe:
- The episode "Gem Harvest" reveals that despite Steven's parents living together for many years before eventually having their son, Greg and Rose Quartz were never formally married, much to the disgust of Greg's cousin Andy.
Uncle Andy: What do you mean you weren't technically married?
- Ruby and Sapphire have been together for 5,750 years, but marriage is a foreign concept to Gems so it never occurred to them to marry. However, in "The Question", Ruby, at Steven's suggestion, proposes to Sapphire to mark their reunion, who accepts, and they are married two episodes later in "Reunited".
- The episode "Gem Harvest" reveals that despite Steven's parents living together for many years before eventually having their son, Greg and Rose Quartz were never formally married, much to the disgust of Greg's cousin Andy.
- Before the start of the series, Krolia and Keith's father from Voltron: Legendary Defender lived together as a couple and had a son together, but had no way of legally marrying on Earth. Due to circumstances parting them they only lived together for a few years, but the two had every intention of living together for the rest of their lives.
- Wakfu: After the season two finale, Sadlygrove and Evangelyne started living together. After a while, Sadlygrove tries to propose, but gets too distracted by Evangelyne revealing she's pregnant. Several more years later, they actually get married.
- Young Love: Angela and Stephen live together and have a child, but have hang-ups about the institution of marriage (they get engaged in the season 1 finale, but call the wedding off at the last minute).
Real Life
- In some ancient legislations, such unions could be automatically upgraded to full-blown marriages, such as Ancient Rome.
- In certain US states such as Texas, common law marriage is legally recognized and has all the same legal rights as formal marriage; the only difference is that a ceremony is not performed. As of 2024 seven states and the District of Columbia recognize common-law marriage, this page👁 Image
from That Other Wiki has more info. - In many ancient societies, this type of marriage was regular marriage. Formal weddings were reserved for royalty and nobility; everyone else just moved in together with little or no fanfare.
- Historically, it's been common for European princes to take long-term untitled mistresses as common law wives and even have multiple illegitimate children with them. For instance, several sons of King George III were living in such arrangements before the Prince Regent's only legitimate daughter died. Afterward, they were forced to abandon their mistresses and find respectable wives to produce heirs with, an obligation that eventually produced Queen Victoria. Her uncle and predecessor King William IV notably spent twenty years cohabiting with a woman and even had an astonishing ten children with her before being pressured to marry a German princess.note The marriage was barren but by all accounts successful, and Queen Adelaide was perfectly amicable with her husband's illegitimate children as they continued living in court
- In places where same-sex marriage isn't legally recognized, this is the default status of long-term queer couples. Even if vows are exchanged, such occasions are often referred to as "commitment ceremonies" rather than weddings since they hold no legal status. Where this really harms queer couples is if one partner dies without a will; a particularly vindictive family can swoop in and claim the deceased's assets (including the couple's home if it was in the deceased's name) since the surviving partner has no legal recourse. Technically any cohabiting couple faces that risk, but it was heartbreakingly common with gay male couples during the AIDS crisis. Some jurisdictions have come up with civil unions or domestic partnerships to offer limited benefits of marriage—sometimes being marriage in all but name—but LGBT advocates have called them out for their "separate but equal" nature.note Assuming they are equal. In the United States, for instance, civil unions only offered state-level marriage rights and nothing federal, and weren't recognized by most other states until 2014. One of the main reasons the US ultimately legalized same-sex marriage a year later was to do away with such complications. One way some couples got around this was for the older member to legally adopt the younger one as their "child", to ensure they received the inheritance.
- Religious sects that practice polygamy but live someplace where it's outlawed essentially fall into this, where you have men with a single legal wife and one or more "spirit wives," considered married in their religious community but not legally recognized as such. Utah has a high number of Fundamentalist Mormons who are polygamous (not to be confused with mainline Mormons who banned the practice in 1890), but since the state is one of the handful in the US that still recognizes common law marriage, Utah takes the standard ban against polygamy one step further by making it illegal (as in, a criminal offense) to even present oneself as having multiple wives. A few of these communities have moved to Mexico, where polygamy is still unrecognized but not criminalized.
- In France during the ancien regime, there was the concept of a 'secret' marriage: a marriage (typically between people of uneven rank) that was recognized as valid by the Catholic Church (meaning the couple was not committing the sin of fornication when they had sex), but was never registered, and therefore never recognized as valid, by the French government. Louis XIV had a secret marriage with his last mistress, Madame de Maintenon, and his son Louis the Grand Dauphin had a secret marriage with his mistress.
- Paul Thomas Anderson and Maya Rudolph have been together for over twenty years and share four children together, but have never married. Regardless, they still publicly refer to each other as husband and wife.
- In traditional Islamic views, all a couple need to get married is to state their intention in front of three male witnesses or five female witnesses; a written statement is completely optional. While Muslim-majority countries nowadays require couples to register with the state authorities, undocumented 'Urfi marriages (as it is known in Arabic) are not uncommon, even if they are technically illegal.