"How could those people just give her back?" Wen had asked Auntie Lan Lan.
Auntie Lan Lan replied that An Fei had been a bad girl, not grateful enough. She didn't obey and sometimes she got so mad, she stamped her feet and yelled. And once, when she didn't get what she wanted, she locked herself in her hotel bedroom and wouldn't come out. She never even made it to America.
Then Auntie Lan Lan took Wen's hands and said that there was one thing to know: gratitude. If she ever got picked for adoption, she would be a very lucky girl. She always must be very grateful to the family who chose her. Otherwise, the family might give her back.
Auntie Lan Lan replied that An Fei had been a bad girl, not grateful enough. She didn't obey and sometimes she got so mad, she stamped her feet and yelled. And once, when she didn't get what she wanted, she locked herself in her hotel bedroom and wouldn't come out. She never even made it to America.
Then Auntie Lan Lan took Wen's hands and said that there was one thing to know: gratitude. If she ever got picked for adoption, she would be a very lucky girl. She always must be very grateful to the family who chose her. Otherwise, the family might give her back.
This trope applies whenever an orphan is able to find a home, only for their adoptive family to later return them to their orphanage/foster home/what have you.
Obviously, this can be deeply damaging to the orphan, who may never feel completely comfortable with any prospective adoptive families. What's more egregious is that most families would never do this with a biological child, suggesting that they hold blood relationships in higher regard than adoptive ones.
How sympathetically each side is treated will vary between stories. Usually either the child will be demonized as an Evil Orphan who threatens the whole family, or the parents are depicted as cruel and unfeeling for dumping the child for no good reason. More rarely, neither party is villainized, but rather the focus is on the tragedy of an adoption not working out for one reason or another.
A few reasons why this might happen:
- The adoptive family gives birth to biological children, prompting them to send the non-blood relatives away.
- The adopted child proves too much trouble to keep.
- The family falls upon hard times and can no longer care for the child.
- The adoptive parents decide they aren't cut out for parenthood.
- The child's biological family returns and wants them back.
Simply being tossed between various foster homes is not enough for this trope to apply; an official adoptive relationship must be completely terminated.
A downplayed version of this trope might be a family giving away a pet, though most people wouldn't find this as reprehensible as giving away a child.
Sister Trope to the Unadoptable Orphan, which is about a character who is stuck in an orphanage for any number of reasons and worries they will never find a "real" home. By contrast, this trope is about the trauma created by getting kicked out of one's home, and about reinforcing the perception that adoptive children don't have the same close ties to their parents as biological children.
Examples:
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Anime & Manga
- An original episode of Ace Attorney (2016) depicts this scenario. A Full Episode Flashback shows that several years after the DL-6 incident, Manfred von Karma has grown tired of young Miles Edgeworth and is planning to send him to an orphanage. He changes his mind after realizing Miles' potential as a future prosecutor.
- One episode in the first season of Hell Girl centered on Ayaka Kurenai, a young woman who was the adopted daughter of a famous actress, who became immensely jealous of a rival actress, Kaoruko. When Ayaka is passed over a role in their upcoming production in favor of Kaoruko, she retaliates by having her friends cripple Kaoruko, rendering her mute. Her mother immediately suspects Ayaka was responsible and plans to terminate the adoption. This doesn't ultimately come to pass, because Kaoruko sends Ayaka to hell.
- SPY×FAMILY: Though only 4-5 years old, Anya was adopted by several families prior to meeting Loid. Each family eventually returned her to a different orphanage. Loid himself also contemplates returning her, causing the telepathic Anya to start bawling when his mind goes down that path.
- Discussed in ViVid Strike!; Rinne feels so guilty over the bad press she caused the Berlinetta family after beating up her bullies that she wants to go back to her orphanage (much to her parents' distress, as they both legitimately love her), though it ultimately doesn't come to pass, and she remains with them for the remainder of the series.
Comic Books
- World's Finest (1941): Issue #153 is an imaginary story where Bruce Wayne becomes Batman to avenge his father's death by Superboy's apparent hand. Years later, Bruce recruits Dick Grayson, becoming Robin, but the Boy Wonder learns why Batman fights and is horrified. Batman tries to recruit Robin to aid him, but, despite being slapped for his belief, Robin refuses. Batman brainwashes Dick to remove his identity and returns him to the orphanage.
Film — Animated
- Partway through Despicable Me 1, Margo, Edith, and Agnes are returned to their orphanage. It's revealed that Dr. Nefario arranged the transfer because he believed they were distracting Gru from his work.
Film — Live-Action
- A variant occurs in A.I.: Artificial Intelligence. The Swinton family is given David, an android who resembles a human boy, as a replacement for their biological son who is in suspended animation. When the son comes home, they decide to send David back to the factory where he was manufactured so he can be destroyed. However, the mother takes pity on him and instead abandons him in the woods.
- Jimmy from Blades of Glory was adopted by a rich businessman because of his skill with figure skating, but after he received a lifetime ban, he was disowned and abandoned on the side of the road.
- Orphan: Discussed — when John finally cottons on to the fact that there's something really wrong with Esther after she tries to seduce him wearing a cocktail dress, he threatens to call Sister Judith, one of the nuns at the orphanage, and "have a conversation about [her] future in this house." Before this can happen, Esther ends up killing him.
- Problem Child is a variation; Junior is a Doorstop Baby who has been sent from household to household for years because he is a destructive Enfante Terrible, and that is before he is placed in an orphanage. He is adopted by the Healys and almost sent back for his antisocial behavior throughout the film before Ben changes his mind (and Junior changes his as well) and Junior is then Happily Adopted.
- The Three Stooges: The Movie: Played for extreme Black Comedy; the trio starts out as orphans, and Moe was the first to get adopted, his new parents declaring that day as his birthday and asking him what he would like. Moe's big wish — for his two friends to join him. They immediately return to the orphanage and ditch him there.
Literature
- The Cider House Rules: Main character Homer Wells grew up in an orphanage. While he was seemingly adopted twice, both times the foster family returned him to the orphanage. The first because they believed he was too quiet, and the second was because they were abusive towards him.
- In Dear Enemy, Hattie, a sweet and well-behaved orphan girl, is returned to the orphanage by a foster family who were on the verge of or in the process (the writing is ambiguous on that) of adopting her legally. The reason was that the girl took a Communion cup from the church, naively thinking it was a toy, and the Holier than Thou foster parents viewed it as theft (while, if anything, it was the clergy's oversight in leaving the Communion cup casually lying around, so the kid naturally assumed nobody wanted it). Luckily, another family takes Hattie in a few months later.
- Dustbin Baby: April is a foundling her birth mother left in a dustbin. She has been adopted by the Johnsons. After Janet killed herself due to her husband's numerous affairs and her adoptive father's new wives not liking her, April is sent back to the system.
- Red Thread Sisters: Played for Drama. Wen is terrified that she might be sent back to the orphanage after being adopted, especially after witnessing another girl, An Fei, be sent back by her adoptive parents for being "not grateful enough" after just a week. As a result, she tries her best to be a good daughter to them, believing that as long as she's proven she earned "the keeping sign", she might be able to convince her adoptive family to adopt her best friend Shu Ling as well.
- Unwind: A "stork" is a child who was dropped at someone's doorstep as a baby and raised by the family who lived there. Since a "storked" family is legally obligated to adopt and raise their new bundle of joy, many parents resent their storks and start counting down the days until they turn 13 and can be sent off to be unwound. Starkey is a stork whose adoptive parents never wanted him; he can remember his mother begging authorities to take him and make him a ward of the state when he was 3.
Live-Action TV
- Chicago Med: In "Pain is for the Living", two brothers are rushed to the hospital by their adoptive parents for injuries they got during a fight when the older brother, Jamie, (who has such an explosive Hair-Trigger Temper that he goes into violent rages at the drop of a hat) broke his brother’s jaw for stealing his tablet and his father was forced to choke Jamie out just to make him stop. Dr. Charles diagnoses Jamie with several muscle control and behavioral issues, and recommends that he be sent to a children’s residential facility so that he can get the treatments he needs to actually help him. While his parents are on board with this, their insurance and Medicaid won't cover it, and they can't afford to send Jaime out of pocket. The only way Jamie can be sent to the residential facility is by a psychiatric lockout, where his parents refuse to let Jamie return home when his five-day hold in the mental health facility is over, so Child Protection Services will take custody of Jamie, and the State of Illinois will be forced to pay for his care at the residential facility. As agonizing and painful as the decision is for both the parents and Jamie himself, his parents agree to surrender custody of Jamie because it’s the only choice they have to help both of their sons.
- Cold Case: In the episode "The Boy in the Box", the cold open has the Victim of the Week, a young orphan boy, coming back to the orphanage after misbehaving so badly his adopted parents returned him.
- Law & Order:
- In the Law & Order episode "Cherished", Abbie Carmichael gets the adoption of a 7-year-old boy under suspicion of murdering his adoptive sister legally rescinded in order to place him with a guardian who will allow him to be interviewed by the police.
- Law & Order: Special Victims Unit: In "Wednesday's Child," Tom and Lisa Moore adopt a five-year-old boy named Nicky who has severe mental issues from being raised in an orphanage his whole life. Because Tom travels around the world for his job, Lisa is left to take care of Nicky on her own, and he becomes too much to deal with, throwing massive tantrums, banging his head on things, screaming, and biting. He nearly gets them into an accident by opening a car door on the highway. She ends up giving Nicky to a shady back-alley adoption agency, and the rest of the episode is about tracking him down and getting him back.
- In Law & Order: Criminal Intent episode "Tomorrow", the one live-in nanny's backstory has her and her sister adopted by a couple. Whereas they love the younger, gentler sister (even giving her their last name), the older, more hardened sister was a troublemaker who longed for their absentee father who abandoned them years prior, forcing them to give her back while adopting her sister.
- An episode of Monk has the eponymous detective adopt a child who was involved in a kidnapping case. (He found a severed body part that used to be attached to the victim.) At first, he gets into being an adoptive father, but then notices his Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is rubbing off on the kid and reluctantly gives the child back.
- Once Upon a Time:
- As part of her Dark and Troubled Past, Emma Swan was found abandoned as an infant and adopted by a childless couple, but was sent back into foster care at three years old when the couple got pregnant with a biological child. Between this and being seemingly abandoned in the first place, Emma grew to mistrust others and avoid forming close relationships by the start of the series.
- Subverted in the case of Henry. In "Save Henry", it's shown that Regina had learned about the history of Henry's birth mother and realized said mother was probably the Savior prophesied to come to Storybrooke and stop her plans. After suspecting that Mr. Gold/Rumplestiltskin had orchestrated this on purpose, she very nearly returns Henry to the orphanage, but ultimately can't bring herself to do so and takes him back home, subsequently using a potion to make herself forget what she'd learned about his birth mother.
- The Story of Tracy Beaker: Zig-zagged. Series 1 ends with Cam adopting Tracy, only for Series 2 to begin with Tracy accidentally burning down Cam's kitchen and getting sent back to the Dumping Ground. Cam then re-adopts and re-unadopts Tracy multiple times throughout the series, as they keep making up and falling out again, only to finally adopt her for good in the Grand Finale.
Visual Novels
- Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney – Spirit of Justice: Apollo was raised as Dhurke Sahdmadhi's foster child in Khura'in after the death of his father, until the age of nine. He takes his foster father sending him to America extremely badly, feeling deeply betrayed and unwanted; exacerbated by Dhurke's decision to keep his biological son Nahyuta with him, and Dhurke's promise that one day he'd come back for Apollo, which he never did. Though Dhurke claims he did so in order to keep Apollo safe from the country's brewing unrest (and Dhurke's own Rebel Leader status), Apollo does not want to see him anymore and has tried to forget his existence.
Webcomics
- Selkie:
- Prior to the start of the story, Amanda was adopted by the unseen Sanderson family. It didn't go well. Her new brothers beat her up repeatedly, and the parents refused to believe the new adopted girl over their biological children. Eventually they gave up and returned her to the orphanage which left her with a few issues in the present.
- Todd was also adopted and returned before Theo and Mari Smith adopted him. This also left him with issues that he wasn't able to outgrow until adulthood.
Western Animation
- Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends: Duchess, the extremely needy, condescending, and haughty imaginary friend that nobody in the house likes, gets adopted by a family that misinterprets her genuine complaining as sarcasm and jokes. However, they are adopted next to where Mac lives, and Mac's mom gets tired of it to the point where she contemplates moving, which Terrance claims it's to "Zingapore, all the way in Wisconsin!". Taking Terrance at his word (something out of character for Mac) and knowing that this means he'll never get to see Bloo again, Mac and Bloo attempt to forcibly return Duchess back to Foster's so they won't move, and what follows is a full-on siege because of how badly Foster's doesn't want to take her back. Eventually they do agree to take Duchess back in, on the condition that Mac and Bloo be the ones to service her every need.
- Futurama: In "The Cyber House Rules", Bender adopts twelve orphans as part of a scheme to mooch off of government stipends, but things quickly go downhill for him when he realizes he actually has to provide for the kids with things like food. He eventually realizes he's operating at a net loss, and after a failed attempt at selling the kids to a slaughterhouse, he returns them to the Orphanarium. Humorously, this "generous gift of twelve orphans" gets the place renamed to the "Bender B. Rodríguez Orphanarium" in his "honor", although it did revert back to its original name in subsequent appearances. The title of the episode is a reference to The Cider House Rules.
Real Life
- Three Kingdoms – Shu, Wei, Wu:
- Invoked when, after the ignominious defeat of Guan Yu's Fan campaign, Liu Bei's officer Meng Da decided to defect to Cao Cao. He tried to convince Liu Feng (in command of a neighbouring force) to join him in defecting. He pointed out that while Liu Feng was Liu Bei's adopted son, he was adopted when Liu Bei had no children but now that Bei had several sons like Liu Shan, Feng was surplus to requirements. Cao Cao's officers tried to sweeten the deal by offering to return him to his original blood family the Kou, and to reward the Kou to boot. Feng refused. Tragically, Liu Bei ordered Liu Feng to commit suicide for failing to reinforce Guan Yu as well as being unable to fight off Meng Da and Cao Cao's forces, with Feng's last words allegedly being regret that he didn't accept Meng's offer.note Historians debate whether or not Liu Bei ordered Liu Feng to commit suicide so as to avoid a Succession Crisis against his older blood son Liu Shan, and whether he was egged on by the likes of Zhuge Liang or whether it was his own idea. Liu Bei himself was recorded as regretting his decision when he learned just how loyal Feng had been.
- Because Zhuge Liang had no children, his older brother Zhuge Jin (who served rival warlord and sometimes ally Sun Quan) sent one of his sons to be adopted into Zhuge Liang's family line. Years later, Zhuge Jin's oldest son Zhuge Ke was executed and his entire family exterminated.note Zhuge Ke had begun taking steps that strongly suggested he intended to seize power, or at least act as The Man Behind the Man, and so was executed for treason. This often involved the extermination of the traitor's family as well. Upon learning this, Zhuge Liang requested permission to cancel the adoption so his "son" could return to becoming his nephew and thus continue Zhuge Jin's family line. As by that point Zhuge Liang had had children of his own, both his liege Liu Bei and Sun Quan's successor approved the cancellation, and Zhuge Jin's bloodline continued.
- Sometimes pets, especially dogs, are adopted and returned to the same shelter by different owners for behavioral issues like aggression or peeing in the house. Many shelters are under pressure to get dogs adopted out faster because they're overloaded, and to try and get a "problem dog" adopted faster, they will sometimes lie about or fail to mention the problem behavior, use cutesy language to cover it up (e.g. "Rover needs to be the only pet in your house!", meaning he is aggressive toward smaller pets), or mislabel the breed on its paperwork, such as labeling a pitbull a "lab mix" or "mixed breed." This can create a Vicious Cycle of a dog being adopted and returned by multiple people who didn't know what they signed up for when they chose it.