Okay, so this is my first slash parody. It's a crossover of
Star Wars and the film that inspired it, Akira Kurosawa's
The Hidden Fortress. Considering the otherwise tantalizing pairing of the Princess characters, I guess the only real fail here is in the ending.
“There has been word, Leia,” said Princess Yuki, “that you have plans to dishonor our story.”
“Not dishonor it, Yuki.” Answered Princess Leia. “Just sort of… Westernize it.”
“Same thing!” Answered Yuki. “Your Master Lucas is no match for our Master Kurosawa!”
“I won’t argue with that.” Leia replied. “I don’t think George ever claimed to be—“
“Silence!” Princess Yuki thrust an imposing hand into the air in true Noh Theater form. “You realize that I do intend to fight you, don’t I?”
Princess Yuki reached behind her kimono and pulled out a Kitana blade. Princess Leia responded by pulling out a light saber.”
“Fuck,” said Yuki, throwing her blade on the ground. “Okay, you win.”
Princess Leia put away her light saber.
“So,” said Yuki, How do you understand Japanese?”
“Easy.” Said Leia. “You have subtitles in front of you.”
“Ah,” replied Yuki, “As do you! So now that we’re in perfect understanding and I obviously can’t kill you, how about we titillate the audience with an elaborate lesbian sex scene?”
Leia shrugged and said, “Nothing weirder than the stuff I’ve done in real life, at least according to my bestselling autobiographies which are available in paperback.”
“Excellent!” Said Princess Yuki, removing the sash from her kimono and dropping her clothes to reveal the hottest naked Asian chick ever. “I see you have proven yourself worthy of sex symbol status.”
“Thanks, Yuki.” Leia said, undoing her long hair and removing her translucent robe. “Unfortunately, there’s only one problem.”
“What is that?” Said Princess Yuki.
Princess Leia took off the robe to reveal her metal bikini and said, “I can’t get this fucking thing off!”
