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| This article is about the Kid Stuff storybook. For the Transformers: Classified novel, see Transformers Classified: Satellite of Doom. |
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| 👁 Satelliteofdoom-cover.jpg It's a low orbital satellite. Very low orbital. | |||||
| Satellite of Doom | |||||
| Publisher | Kid Stuff | ||||
| Cover date | 1985 | ||||
| Written by | John Braden | ||||
| Art by | Pablo Marcos and Judith Marcos | ||||
| Continuity | Ha! You're kidding, right? | ||||
| ISBN | ISBN 5-55136-038-5 ISBN 978-5551360384 | ||||
| Page count | 32pp | ||||
The Decepticons blow up some coal, which somehow creates a huge diamond, which will somehow melt the Rocky Mountains, which will somehow create a lot of oil. Oh, and kill a lot of humans, too.
Contents |
The Decepticons have excavated a huge cavern beneath Africa's Kalahari Desert. The Decepticons have tricked thousands of humans into digging the chamber for them, luring them with promises of wealth and then enslaving them. Soundwave is eager to leave; the sand is fouling his cassette drives and everyone else's transmissions. Bulldozers are used to pack the entire chamber solid with coal and lectonite explosives.
Above, Skyfire has tracked one of the coal transports to the desert, and finds a dying human on the surface. He reports his findings to Prowl and Optimus at the Autobot command center. Prowl has a sensor drone read the human's "residual brain wave pattern" and learns of the slaves and the coal deposit.
The Decepticon command ship blasts off from the desert, and Megatron detonates the explosives. Amid the biggest explosion the world has ever seen, the coal and the thousands of trapped slaves are compressed into the biggest diamond ever created.
The Decepticons transport the diamond to a satellite-launching base deep in the jungles of Mato Grosso, Brazil. After laser-cutting the diamond, they prepare to launch. Megatron gloats about his plan: the crystal satellite will create a lens to focus the sun's energy and melt the Rocky Mountains, turning it to a sea of oil. Unbeknownst to him, Bumblebee has been spying on them.
Prime sends Skyfire to attack the satellite as it launches, but the rocket survives and continues skyward. Megatron blows up the launch platform and escapes. The satellite arrives in position and awaits only the sun's rays to energize it. Prime and Prowl watch in horror as the first rays begin to strike the satellite, realizing that millions of lives are in danger.
The satellite's beam ignites forests instantly and begins melting rocks. Rivers and lakes of molten rock form, rapidly expanding.
Ratchet rigs Skyfire with emergency boosters to allow him to reach the satellite; Skyfire launches, knowing he's got no way to return safely to Earth, and launches his attack.
Megatron and Soundwave gloat and hoo-hah as Skyfire's attack does no damage, and the Autobot burns up on re-entry. Prime, meanwhile, has Ratchet rig together a square mile of polished metal. A squad of Autobots uses electromagnetic force to fly the panel into space below the satellite. The giant mirror reflects the satellite's beam, instantly detonating it with enough force to raise Earth's tides ten feet.
The Autobots track Megatron's signal back to his hidden base and attack, blowing the base open with thermo-excavator missiles. Megatron and Soundwave escape aboard a turbine mole machine, and Earth is safe... for now!
(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)
| Autobots | Decepticons | Humans |
|---|---|---|
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"Everything will be completed on time, mighty Megatron! The entire cavern will be filled within a cocoon of lectonite explosives, just as you ordered!"
"Your worthless mecha-life depends on that, Soundwave."
"And did you see how the Autobot superjet burned on re-entry into the atmosphere! That was nice too!"
"Busted gears and cracked drive shafts!"
"Optimus Prime, you metallic nemesis!"
As part of the "See & Read" series, this story came in two different formats, both times as the first story in a set alongside "When Continents Collide".
Both stories were told in picture-book form, coming with an audio cassette with the story narrations and acting on it. This version also came packaged with the yellow version of Cliffjumper... who didn't appear in the stories.
An "animated" VHS version was also available, using chroma-key to animate the static pictures cheesily, with the storybook text superimposed on the bottom of the screen.
