Platform / Everything2

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Everything2👁 Image
, (AKA Everything, AKA E2) is a cross between a wiki and a massive multi-user blog.

Each page of Everything2 is called a "node". A node is just a title — a topic for discussion or elucidation. Attached to the node are "writeups" — written descriptions, essays, reviews, anecdotes, fiction or poetry on the subject of the node.

A node without any writeups — that is, created in anticipation of some other user's writeup — is called a "nodeshell". It is surprisingly common practice for some noder to create a bizarre, contrived node name^note for instance, "Your hands do the work of 10,000 highly trained lesbian jumping beans"👁 Image
without specifying a writeup to go with it, instead waiting patiently for some other user to write their own interpretation of that title. This (creating a writeup for an intentionally empty node) is known as a "nodeshell rescue".

(This explains those occasions where a node's title proclaims one opinion loud and clear, but has a corresponding writeup that has a more reserved opinion of the subject.)

Also contains categories — lists of collected nodes sharing a like premise or theme.

Home to such fiction series as New York Magician, Fine Structure, the Metro City Chronicles, The Man with the Terrible Eyes, and the City Magic series. See also tv tropes@Everything2.com👁 Image

This website provides examples of:

• Abandoned Hospital: "The Blacke Asylum"👁 Image
  follows the history of a mental hospital, from construction to corruption to closing to its final fate as an abandoned, haunted hell.
• Adjective Noun Fred:"Why are so many Anime called {Adjective} {Occupation} {Proper Name} ?"👁 Image
  - A discussion among noders on the apparent preferred style of three-word titles for anime programs.
• Adventures in the Bible: A proof in time👁 Image
  - A time traveler ventures back in time to see Jesus. It doesn't end well for him, as he is mistaken for a demon and driven off a cliff into the ocean.
• After the End: Many stories, including an entire Category👁 Image
  listing After the End related writeups. Some examples of fiction include:
  • If I'm right, you'll be here to read this any day now👁 Image
    . An Apocalyptic Log as the world is being destroyed in a sci-fi-ish Ragnarok
  • The Penguin Game👁 Image
    - At the end of the world, a man loses hope and climbs a skyscraper to commit suicide.
• Alternate Reality Game: Of a sort, and often unintentionally. The site hosts both fiction running the gamut from wildly fantastic to Slice of Life, and bloggy anecdotes which tend toward the strange-but-true. With a lot of entries, it's hard to tell which one it is, and even on the more unlikely fiction entries it lends an ARG-like feel.
• Animal Assassin: "How to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug and a litre of raspberry coulis"👁 Image
  - A careful and precise explanation of how to assassinate a third world despot with only a butt plug, a litre of raspberry coulis, AND a gibbon or mongoose.
• Apocalyptic Log: "The Lovecraftian compulsion to keep writing even as one is being devoured"👁 Image
  which is a WU discussing the apocalypse.
• Apocalypse How: "How to destroy the Earth"👁 Image
  , a nonfictional WU wherein the various methods of completely eradicating the world are analyzed for their feasibility and the consequences they would have.
• Bad People Abuse Animals: Touch the Puppy👁 Image
  
  • MAN: It makes me feel so very, very good when I touch the puppy... right... [Touches the puppy] THERE!
  • SON: [In mortal terror] DADDY, NO! NOOOO!
• Bag of Holding: It's mean to hide a kitten in a puppy's butt👁 Image
  - And not just one kitten! Many kittens! In one puppy! Sometimes it must be done. Are your puppy-stuffing skills up to the task?
• Batter Up!: "Standing on a mountaintop in northern Siberia under the rapidly descending bulk of asteroid McAlmont, with a calculating expression and a baseball bat"👁 Image
  - A short story in which a planet-destroying asteroid is about to strike Earth. A man decides to travel to the location where the asteroid is expected to hit. He waits with a baseball bat, enduring the adverse conditions at the site, praying he times his swing correctly. He swings the bat and connects. The story is unfinished, forcing the reader to decide if he saved the world or was destroyed with the rest of the planet.
• Beary Funny: The Bear FAQ👁 Image
  - Humorous FAQs on bears, their habitats, behavior, and diet.
• Beige Prose: "Six Word Story: Cake And Pie!"👁 Image
  - A collection of six-word stories.
• Blazing Inferno Hellfire Sauce: "I lost my uvula in the war👁 Image
  - A soldier in the Middle East samples a bit too much of a notoriously spicy dish.
• Buried Alive / Robots Enslaving Robots: "Why there is no moloch13"👁 Image
  - A robot laboring deep underground attempts to raise a rebellion against its masters. It and its cohorts are walled away forever as punishment.
• Companion Cube: Webster 1913👁 Image
  - A bot which posted the entirety of the 1913 edition of Webster's Dictionary as a way to fill some of the spaces in the site's knowledge base.
• Connect the Deaths: "secret city map with pins set at the places their eyes had met👁 Image
  " - A pair of writeups, both focusing on people putting pins in maps where they'd met a significant person in their lives. In the second story, the pins apparently predict the catastrophic destruction of a city.
• Cute Kitten: Everywhere Is Kitten Trouble👁 Image
  - A song to be sung when adorable kittens are causing adorable problems.
• Deal with the Devil: "The demon was just under three feet tall"👁 Image
  — a man makes a deal to keep a demonic servant, then makes another deal after it appears the demon has killed his girlfriend's kids. This goes about as well as you would imagine.
• Diabolical Mastermind: "I remember when it was me who made you want to take over the world and enslave humanity"👁 Image
  - The first installment of the Von Wicked Chronicles, about a couple of entirely devious criminal masterminds who get married and have an equally brilliant son, who starts to have some doubts about the family business when he falls in love with someone much less wicked.
• The Drifter: The "Walking Man"👁 Image
  series - A collection of short tales involving a man walking across the country.
• Easily Thwarted Alien Invasion: "Why is it that the alien mortal enemies of humanity always have some fatal flaw?👁 Image
  " - An examination of why mankind survives so easily when invaded by fictional alien conquerors.
• The Epic: "The Song of Ceber"👁 Image
  — an epic poem saga about a tarantula hawkwasp who battles a clockwork goddess.
• Elvis Lives: "The King, Multidimensional"👁 Image
  - A series of short descriptions of alternate universes where Elvis lived different lives, some familiar, some mundane, some very unusual.
• Fairy Tale: An entire list👁 Image
  of public domain Grimm fairytales.
• Fallen Angel: Appear in Religious Fiction👁 Image
  category. Some examples include:
  • "Dave Decides to Fall"👁 Image
    , the first of a two-part short story featuring an angel who chooses to fall to Earth and tries to get his bearings.
  • "Hell Hath No Fury"👁 Image
    , a five-part series following Genowrath, a Yandere demon in hell as he tries to get back at (or with) the warlock who dumped him.
  • Life and Times of a Fallen Angel👁 Image
    , an incomplete series following a fallen-angel-turned-imp who works for a wizard and inadvertently gets involved in a heavenly coup.
• Faux-To Guide: Quite a few, including (but not limited to)
  • How to become a mighty pirate👁 Image
    - A humorous writeup advising the reader on how to become a pirate.
  • How to write bad poetry👁 Image
    - A humorous writeup advising the reader on how to write low-quality poetry.
• Freak Lab Accident: "What happens if somebody messes up in lab👁 Image
  " - A short series of writeups recounting unfortunate laboratory mishaps, some true, some (hopefully) fictional.
• Fusion Fic: When you mix The Matrix with VeggieTales, you get The Matrix a la Veggie Tales👁 Image
  .
• Gadgeteer Genius / Cerebus Syndrome: "Ed stories👁 Image
  " - A series of stories about Ed, a British super-genius, and the adventures, inventions, and mishaps that befall him.
• Gangsta Style: "Shooting people with your gun at a -90 degree transformation"👁 Image
  - A discussion on the benefits (aesthetics), disadvantages (messing up your gun), and origins (Chow Yun-Fat is really cool) of tilting your gun.
• God Test: "Creating a password to convince yourself you have traveled back in time"👁 Image
  - A short guide to how to convince your past self that you really are your future self.
• Gratuitous Iambic Pentameter: "Two Gentlemen on Veronica"👁 Image
  - A three-act Shakespearian tragedy about the collapse of a dot-com.
• Hell Hound: "Tales of MYSTERY and the UNEXPLAINED"👁 Image
  - Less hellish, perhaps, but the sudden death of a family's elderly dog allows her protective spirit to smash her way into the house and gruffly growl her name, all in a (mostly successful) attempt to bring comfort to an unhappy boy.
• Kaiju: Gamera is friend to all children!👁 Image
  - Modern life for the modern monster — waking up early so you can make your commute through a few miles of caverns, grabbing the occasional snack of subway trains, heading off to your job as a teacher...
• Killed Mid-Sentence: "Incomplete two-word sentences with which to end your life"👁 Image
  - A list of two-word sentence fragments, ranging from the mundane ("What the—?") to the more unusual ("Antidisestablishmentarianism isn't—!"), which would be appropriate or at least humorous last words before someone died.
• Let's Meet the Meat: "Deconstructing that creepy McDonald's filet-of-fish commercial"👁 Image
  - A detailed analysis of a McDonald's commercial featuring a wall-mounted singing fish trophy extolling the virtues of the Filet O' Fish.
• Lovecraft Lite: Again, many stories. Usually played for humor. Here's a short list👁 Image
  . Some examples:
  • How I bested Cthulhu and saved the world👁 Image
    - Cthulhu is chasing you! He wants his report! He's not passing all his classes!
  • How to turn a kraken house into a kraken home👁 Image
    - A kraken who wants to move up in the world and earn the respect of its peers should keep a home that is attractive and gains the respect of other undersea monsters.
  • On the more horrific (but not quite Cosmic Horror Story scale) side: Shub-Internet👁 Image
    , a monstrous entity hiding in the Internet that destroys the lives and sanity of those who fall into its orbit.
• Mad Scientist: The poem The chemist👁 Image
  - Denied his scientific equipment, a chemist uses his knowledge of household chemistry to destroy his oppressors.
• Magic from Technology: Played straight in "How the scientists discovered magic"👁 Image
  ; Inverted in "How mages discovered the scientific method"👁 Image
  
• Magical Realism: Many stories, particularly How to spot a powerful mage👁 Image
  , which spotlights a trio of spellcasters on a city bus.
• Mechanical Lifeforms: The series of daylogs following Moloch36 and his days in shaft thirteen, level ninety-nine. First can be found here👁 Image
  .
• Mushroom Samba: "Summit in Savannah"👁 Image
  - A series of writeups in which editors and administrators of the website gather for a group meeting and are accidentally dosed with a hallucinogenic substance.
• Necromancer: A series of daylogs by an inept, Jerkass, wannabe necromancer. The first can be found here👁 Image
  , but to get to the others, just go here👁 Image
  and start from the bottom.
• Our Angels Are Different: A reocurring element in the religious fiction category👁 Image
  . Specific examples include:
  • Played for humor in It could use a spaceship, said the angel👁 Image
    , where God accidentally creates a planet with a dominant species that can't join the Galactic Convocation of Minds — but a certain free-thinking rebel angel has plans to fix that problem.
  • Played for horror in Requiem Aeternam👁 Image
    , which is full of shapeshifting angels, demons eating souls in Hell, and an afterlife that's much shorter and gorier than advertised.
• Our Fairies Are Different: There is a detailed set of instructions of how to gather pixie dust👁 Image
  .
• Our Vampires Are Different: Has a category👁 Image
  
  • I will stitch your heart together with filthy twine and sex👁 Image
    - Vampires prowl a hospital, lusting for blood and debauchery.
  • Some vampires actually get pissed when you tell them to have a nice day.👁 Image
    - When you can never see the light of the sun, you get a little sensitive about casual greetings.
• Our Zombies Are Different: A small category👁 Image
  dedicated to zombies. Some examples include:
  • Tell me a story about brains👁 Image
    , combining Horror Hunger and Black Comedy.
  • The zombie revolution will not be televised, but it will be tweeted👁 Image
    .
• Out with a Bang: several nodes, among them the funny but somewhat terrifying "How I nearly killed myself masturbating"👁 Image
  .
• Overly Long Gag: "I hate this god damn robot"👁 Image
  - A story in which a man invents a robot which immediately displays rude behavior, copious swearing, and fluid ejection, prompting the man to become angry, disgusted, and violent. The man spends a lengthy period attacking and trying to destroy the robot, which continues to insult him profanely.
• Pals with Jesus: "Me and Sue and Ricky and God"👁 Image
  - Having God for a roommate can be pretty cool, until He just starts getting weird with everyone.
• Parodies for Dummies: "The Teach Yourself to be a Dummy in 24 Hours Bible"👁 Image
  - A guide to dumbing yourself down with computer programming.
• Plant Person: The Meadow, Dark and Moist👁 Image
  combines it with Involuntary Shapeshifting and Body Horror.
  • Another story, Wereshrub👁 Image
    .
  • And in And Mother burst forth, green and beautiful👁 Image
    , a woman can't stop gaining weight until she's eventually turned into a beautiful tree.
• Private Detective: "The Kim Li Diaries"👁 Image
  - A lengthy story about a private detective trying to solve a mystery.
• Punch-Clock Villain: It's a hard knock life for a cosmic horror cultist👁 Image
  - A short writeup in which a cultist for a Cthulhu-like deity bemoans the finicky and uncaring nature of the eldritch gods, including the difficulties of determining when the stars are right, finding the correct location to summon them, and worrying about unwelcome telepathic influences that attract the attention of anti-Cthulhoid authorities.
• Ridiculously Human Robot:
  • You are not alone👁 Image
    - In the aftermath of the apocalypse, it's hell having to serve the last robot in existence. But which one's the robot?
  • Not so much in looks, but in personality: I tried to laugh, but my photocells were cold from the night👁 Image
    .
• Robot Girl: And👁 Image
  ? Combines it with Bitter Sweet Ending and hints of What Measure Is a Non-Human?.
• Saving Christmas: "How Jenna Jameson Saved Christmas"👁 Image
  - An evil overlord is holding Santa Claus captive, and if toys don't get delivered to all the children in the world on Christmas, the universe will be destroyed! Can pornographic actress Jenna Jameson save Christmas?
• Screw You, Elves!: "Fifteen Elvish ways to die"👁 Image
  - Short takes on elves who die in ways archaic, modern, and silly.
• "Shaggy Dog" Story: "The Most Disappointing Joke Ever"👁 Image
  - A man goes looking for a rare worm, and every time he finds one, it vanishes before he gets home. This happens over and over and over, until finally, at long last, a punchline arrives. Is it a good punchline? Or is it the Most Disappointing Joke Ever?
• Shapeshifter Mode Lock: The horror story We don't make good wives👁 Image
  explains why one should never do this to a shapeshifting snake woman, no matter how much of a Cute Monster Girl you think she is.
• Stable Time Loop The longest science fiction story ever👁 Image
  - When you invent your time machine, try to go back in time far enough not to eternally loop your dialogue.
• Time Police: Haggerty of Time Patrol👁 Image
  - A low-level 1920s gangster is saved from a police ambush and inducted into the Time Patrol by an agent he will eventually also recruit into the Time Patrol.
• Too Spicy for Yog-Sothoth: ""Oh, bother," said the Borg. "We've assimilated Pooh.""👁 Image
  - A short science fiction story in which a spaceship encounters the Borg and uses a secret weapon called the Saturday Morning Device to assault the Borg with childish and light-hearted content, including Winnie the Pooh and Barney the Dinosaur, in order to destroy the machine-like and grim Borg's ability to function.
• Undead Child: "Bag of Crushed Child"👁 Image
  - A review of a fictional bad movie about a hippie and his best friend, a murderous sack of pulped baby called Bag of Crushed Child.
• Walking the Earth: The "Cursed Earth"👁 Image
  series follows a man wandering from place to place in the aftermath of an alien/demonic invasion of the planet.
• Who Wants to Live Forever?: "Immortality blows"👁 Image
  - An immortal details the trials of living eternally, including watching humanity evolve into pure energy, enduring millennia of boredom alone on Earth, watching the sun and Earth explode, hurtling through the cold emptiness of space for billions of years, and eventually living through the final end of the universe.
• What Would X Do?: "What would Cthulhu Do?"👁 Image
  - A short, humorous essay stating that, in the face of human rudeness, crudity, and immorality, one should do as Cthulhu would do, and rise from the ocean, destroy civilization and the human race, and reclaim the Earth for the forces of darkness.
• Wiki Walk: The site, by virtue of the 'related nodes' table at the bottom of each page.
• Word Salad Title: Shows up a lot due to the user-generated nature of nodeshell titles. While an author can make their own, relevant and sensible title, often times people will create random, nonsensical titles either for their own amusement, or to try and see if anyone can create a cohesive story out of it.
  • imagine that you are the weather in the tiny snowglobe of this song👁 Image
    
  • Or he'll just kick me in the face and scream abstract noises and dance around outside in his underwear and have sex with the neighbor's dog and try to fly by jumping off the toilet👁 Image
    
  • I will REMOVE your "All your radical touching base are already occurred to the lesbian monkey puppy" philosophy on me if you don't eat my soy google balls, hatt-baby. Real or malarky?👁 Image
    
    • This is a mashup of early-2000s memes, some e2-specific, some not. Including:
    • All Your Base
    • Your radical ideas about society, individualism, and religion have already occurred to others👁 Image
      
    • Touch the Puppy (see above)
    • SOY! SOY! SOY! Soy makes you strong! Strength crushes enemies! SOY!👁 Image
      
    • Mr. T ate my balls
    • Hatten är din
    • How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
• Worst News Judgment Ever: "TWO HUB MEN DIE IN BLAST; New York also destroyed👁 Image
  " - a short writeup on a fictitious newspaper headline from the Boston Globe implying that Bostonians felt their residents were of greater news value than other entire cities, including New York City.
• You Are Number Six: "Student #478993320 went on a shooting rampage today👁 Image
  " - A short tale, told as a news report about a student who went on a shooting rampage as a protest against government policies stipulating that those under the age of 18 have no rights and are referred to only as numbers.