Piracy is a problem with any form of media, and gaming is no exception. While piracy has existed since the inception of gaming, it has only accelerated. Some developers have attempted to combat this issue through various means, such as online DRM. Other game developers take matters into their own hands and implement some special forms of anti-piracy that are hilarious and sometimes very strange. Here are some of the funniest ways game developers have tried to keep players from pirating their games over the years.
4 Mirror's Edge
Slowing you down
Mirror's Edge is one of the most famous parkour games ever created. That is because the entire game revolves around using parkour to get from one area to the next. EA published this game back in 2008. At the time, EA was very well known for its Origin system for anti-piracy. Well, instead of sticking with this system to prevent players from pirating Mirror's Edge, EA decided to implement a different, far more sinister feature.
Whenever someone pirates a copy of Mirror's Edge, it changes the movement of the character so that she slows down when performing parkour moves instead of speeding up. Since the entire game revolves around the use of parkour, it is completely unplayable, making you fall off of buildings and unable to make the simplest of jumps.
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3 The Sims 4
Be more modest
The Sims is undoubtedly one of the most popular game series that has ever been developed by EA/Maxis. It is safe to say that the companies want this game to be protected at all costs. Rather than relying on normal anti-piracy measures, EA decided to make it so copies of The Sims 4 become extra modest so that even the youngest of players can enjoy it.
Normally, whenever a Sim enters a shower or any area where they would be unclothed, the game pixelates the section of the body or the entire body of the Sim to keep them decent. This effect is taken to the extreme in pirated copies of the game. Once one of your characters jumps in the shower or goes to the bathroom and leaves, the pixelated section will remain. If you choose to ignore it, the pixelated area will continuously grow until the entire screen becomes pixelated. It makes it rather difficult to see everything going on, but at least the game still functions.
2 The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks
Unplayable
If you thought that Mirror's Edge was bad for slowing you down in a parkour game, The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is a bit worse. Each Legend of Zelda title has a gimmick. Twilight Princess has Wolf Link, Wind Waker has the boat, and Spirit Tracks has a train that you use to traverse the world. Unfortunately, if you are playing a pirated copy of the game, the train becomes your worst enemy.
When The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is operating normally, you are presented with a list of controls that appear on the side of the screen whenever you are operating your train. These allow you to speed up, slow down, and stop. However, pirated game copies don't have these controls, making the train completely inoperable. This makes the game unplayable the moment you unlock the train. Thank you, Nintendo.
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1 The Witcher 2
Spontaneous death
Perhaps the funniest of all anti-piracy methods a developer has used to protect their game comes from CD Projekt Red. CDPR is the creator of the Witcher series. A key aspect of the series is the ability to romance NPCs. However, in an attempt to stop people from pirating The Witcher 2, CDPR made a minor change to the game's romance system. If you managed to romance a character and get treated to an intimate moment, you are met with a cutscene of Geralt getting it on with a rather creepy-looking old lady. This NPC's name is Marietta Loredo.
To take things a step further, CDPR also included randomly triggered cutscenes of Geralt dying. Imagine walking down a path in the woods and seeing Geralt drop dead out of nowhere. There is a real possibility of this whenever you are playing a pirated copy of The Witcher 2. Best to stick to playing a copy that comes straight from the developer.
Some weird anti-piracy measures
Game developers are pretty clever when it comes to protecting the games they create. From EA adding an extra layer of modesty to The Sims 4 to Nintendo going out of its way to ensure The Legend of Zelda: Spirit Tracks is unplayable, many attempts have been made to protect our favorite games. Unfortunately, sometimes this doesn't always work, as CDPR did need to threaten legal action, thanks to players pirating The Witcher 2 despite all the anti-piracy measures taken. Do your best to avoid piracy, though, if you don't want to get some crazy effects that make your favorite games unplayable.