When Tássia Rebelo moved to Finland in 2021, she was excited about starting a new life on the other side of the world. She had relocated from Brazil after her husband accepted a role at a gaming company, and was keen to make new friends and build her network.

Through the Helsinki Spouse Program, Rebelo attended events and got to know the city, but she found that meeting people at large gatherings rarely led to the deep and lasting friendships she was craving — and she was starting to feel lonely.

"I had a job, safety, and a stable life in Europe. But I had no friends," Rebelo told Yle News.

After what she describes as a cynical phase, Rebelo decided to take a proactive approach to making connections. She placed a small notice in the Spouse Program newsletter inviting women who were looking for friends to get in touch.

"At some point, I realised: I can’t play the victim. I planned on staying, so I had to figure something out,” Rebelo said.

That notice eventually became Secret Club, a Helsinki-based community for women with over a thousand members.

Focusing on friendship first

Secret Club runs on a simple rule that differs from most integration programmes: members introduce themselves without mentioning where they’re from, their job title, or any of the standard labels.

"You get to know the person first. Later, you might discover someone's a lawyer at Migri," Rebelo said.

This simple rule was shaped by her own frustrations with professional networking. While part of an unemployment programme, Rebelo recalls how she felt attending industry events.

"When I was going through a career crisis, the last thing I wanted was to network. I wanted to figure out my social life first," she explained.

Stories such as Rebelo’s reflect a broader issue, according to Marii Juht of Intero Integration, a relocation and integration company.

"In Finland, we often say you need to network to find a job. But formal events rarely lead to the kind of trust-based connections that open doors. Those usually develop in smaller communities around shared interests," said Juht.

In a country where many people form lifelong networks through school, university or military service, newcomers often lack a similar foundation. For Rebelo, Secret Club became a way to build one.

Her goal, however, was also to help women build their own networks.

"People don’t join communities to stay attached forever. They make friends and take those friendships into their own lives. When I see people hosting dinners with people they met through Secret Club, I know I’ve done my job," Rebelo said.

Doing "the most un-Finnish thing imaginable"

Asha Singadia moved from London to Finland to be with her Finnish husband, first settling in Klaukkala, some 35km north of Helsinki.

Despite a career spent working with major global brands, she struggled to translate that experience into the Finnish job market — and found it equally difficult to build a social circle. She had been living in Finland for years before she heard about an integration programme for the first time.

Unable to find work in her field, she fell into entrepreneurship by necessity.

"Starting over from scratch was really overwhelming for me," recalled Singadia. "I ended up becoming an entrepreneur, even though at that time I wanted a job. I was looking for friends, routine, stability and a salary."

Language was another hurdle, especially living outside Helsinki. The expectation of proficiency in the Finnish language, she argues, can contradict the country's international ambitions.

"How can Finland say it wants to be an international hub for work, while requiring Finnish for almost everything?"

Seeking a fresh start, Singadia moved to Helsinki and did what she describes as "the most un-Finnish thing imaginable": she invited women she had been following on LinkedIn to dinner.

That dinner became the launchpad for Foundher Table, a community for female founders that Singadia is now expanding. Her long-term goal is to build one of Europe's largest funds dedicated to getting underrepresented women the capital and resources they need to scale.

"I created something I needed because I was exhausted by polished networking events centred on metrics and pitch decks. I wanted to get to know people as people — to talk about work, but also to switch off and just be human," Singadia said.

When work isn’t enough to find belonging

Both Rebelo and Singadia note that the communities they have built point to what's missing in Finland's approach to integration.

Most integration programmes focus heavily on job-seeking support and language skills, but for many newcomers, the hardest part of building a life in Finland is about more than just finding work.

According to a recent survey by the Finnish Red Cross, foreign-language speakers are among the groups most affected by loneliness in Finland.

"The social side of integration often gets pushed to the background while the job takes centre stage," said Juht. "I think that's backwards. Even for job searching, you need some kind of community around you. We're social creatures."

The gap between what the system offers and what people need is widening. Finland has introduced stricter residency requirements and the government is also preparing a citizenship test. All of this is happening while the funding and resources meant to help immigrants integrate is being cut.

One further change means an applicant could be denied Finnish citizenship if they have collected unemployment benefits for more than three months over a period of two years — this has proved particularly controversial in light of Finland's dismal unemployment rate, currently the worst in the EU.

Juht noted that Finnish companies are finally beginning to wake up to the direct link between social belonging and retention. Highly skilled international professionals are leaving Finland not only because of rising unemployment, but because recent policy changes and anti-immigrant rhetoric have created uncertainty about their future here.

Integration starts with authenticity and connection

For Rebelo and Singadia, belonging in Finland ultimately requires the freedom to be oneself.

"Finding a sense of belonging here meant not changing who I am, but being my authentic self in this new context,” Rebelo said.

Singadia agreed.

"Don't try to become something you're not. Finland needs people from everywhere, sharing the skills and perspectives they bring."

Beyond programmes and policies, Juht sees community as the foundation of integration.

"Without it, everything becomes harder. I hope anyone moving to Finland can find some form of connection early on — not necessarily close friendships straight away, but at least a network to start building from. That's what matters most when you arrive here."